Dear F As In Fun Reader,
I feel I would be doing you a massive disservice by not telling you about this thing.
A few weeks ago I spent an afternoon at my in-laws. Occasionally it's a bit boring there (okay I'm exaggerating, it's always boring there) but that day, much to my surprise, there were two awesome things parked in the garage. What were those two awesome things? Cruizin Coolers.
Cruizin Coolers do exactly what you would expect them to do... they are coolers that you can store beer in and cruise around on! Here is the official word from the company:
Cruizin Cooler combines two basic necessities of life, the ability to have cold food or a beverage handy along with the means to get somewhere, without walking. The Cruzin Cooler is light-weight, comes in various sizes and colors and is available in gas and electric models, with up to a 10 mile range on electric models and 30 miles on the gas models.
So anyway, I asked my brother-in-law, who was already half-in-the-sack drunk anyway, if I could ride one. "Yes" was the answer. I thanked him. I also thanked god and his loyal followers, for I was about to embark on a journey scant few have dared test the pleasure of... a mission not terribly unlike that of Jesus and his minions during that fateful night in Bethlehem... I WAS ABOUT TO RIDE A CRUIZIN COOLER!
I cracked open a cold one (as I'm sure Cruizin Cooler Man Law dictates) and started her up. She responded well except for the seventy-eight times when it stalled. That was annoying. But it was worth it... for I was commanding a rolling cargo carrier of liquid courage.
I almost lost it a few times on the corners but overall the Cruizin Cooler was a blast! Even though it was running on a noisy weed-whacker motor that topped out at 13 mph -- and even though it did indeed stall like seven hundred times -- it was a lot of fun.
Me, zipping around like a kid at daycare.
My wife Pam was lovin' the cooler action.
I think she liked the fact that she was
sitting on a vibrating weed-whacker myself.
Ellen rides a Cruizin Cooler.
Cruizin Cooler models start at $399 and go up from there. You can even buy additional coolers and hitch them in tandem if you want to look like a super-deluxe moron! See?
Sure, it may make you look like a red neck riding this sucker down the street, but the Cruizin Cooler is fun. And hey. Isn't that what this blog is all about (other than the occasional "2012-is-coming-and-we're-all-gonna-die" story)?
Click here to go to the company's website.
Cruizin Cooler Owner
Goes to the Liquor Store:
Dudes Look Fairly Gay
Riding Cruizin Cooler Together:
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