Burnout FAIL

Ouch.

Mobile DJing To The Next Level

Bass in the balls. That's a good thing. You should always face the crowd though. I am inclined to label this a FAIL.

Now THIS...

THIS is a WIN IMO...


Scion partnered with Pioneer to develop this custom xB. Can you imagine having a party and this thing shows up? Your party fun multiplies by 12,000. Damn that would be awesome.

Here are some other DJ-style vehicles. Cool or just plain ol' stupid? You be the judge...

Parking Attempt: It's Nice To Know I'm Not The Dumbest Person In The World After All

Moron is not a strong enough word. What's a better word, can you think of one?

Top 10 Shitty Selling Cars In America

ABC News has compiled a list of the top 10 worst selling cars in America right now. GM and Chrysler hog most of the list, with Kia Motors joining in for fun. It's kind of fascinating, but at the same time not really surprising.

Take for instance, the Dodge Caliber. Here's what they're saying:

American car dealers are taking an average of 223 days to clear the Caliber off their lots. That's more than seven months -- a longer sales period than any other major-selling car on the market today.

Maybe it's not selling because... oh, I don't know... maybe because it's a Dodge and it's ugly as hell...?

Dodge Caliber. And they wonder why it's not selling.

Be sure to check it out.

Pontiac Was Doomed #1: Butt Ugly Design

Please take note:

Ruffles have ridges

Cars should not

To be fair, Pontiac isn't the only auto maker to produce cars with ugly ridges on them (Mitsubishi had them on its Eclipse for years), but to my calculation, it is the only auto maker get away with it for more than a decade -- 15 years, to be exact!! And it was done to practically every one of its models!! What, did their lead design engineer die back in 1994?

Oh and let's not forget the Aztek:


More to come...

Top 10 Dumbest Things To See On Cars

I spend about two hours a day on the road, so I see a lot of dumb shit. A lot. Here are, in my opinion, the top ten dumbest things ever to be associated with cars...

10. Wiper Fluid Nozzle L.E.D.s

"Oooh, you're cool! You have little glowing nipples on your hood that spray water!"

9. Antenna Balls

These are dumb, and they have been dumb ever since people started shoving them onto their antennas back in the seventies. Admittedly, the Jack In The Box one is 50% less dumb.

8. "My Kid Is An Honor Student At _____ School!" Bumper Stickers

Seriously. If you have to ask why this is dumb, you must
be a moron. Three words: No. One. Cares.

7. Giant Spoilers

Also known as "Ricer Wings," these aftermarket monstrosities are usually bolted on with a few screws and look extremely dumb! The owner of this car here is obviously looking to break Evel Knievel's Snake River Canyon record. (Okay, so Bubba Blackwell broke it; Evel Knievel just has a better ring to it.)

6. The Pontiac Aztek

True, it is not a car accessory, but it is the ugliest car to be manufactured in twenty years, so I am putting it here at number six.

5. Spinners

There is perhaps no better way to maintain your street cred than to roll with a set of these. Admittedly, I fell victim to some spinners one day at a stop light. I thought the light changed to green because the car next to me looked like it was moving forward. Shit!

4. TIE: Dumb Decals / Magnetic "Sympathy Ribbons"

Dumb Decals: Okay, we get it! Calvin is pissing on the Ford logo! He's been pissing on the Ford logo and many other things for twenty years! We get it!

Sympathy Ribbons: No offense to anyone who wants to honor our servicemen or fight breast cancer, but do you have to put, like, six of these on the back of your mini-van? Really?

3. Fake Add-Ons

Have you always wanted a turbo side air intake, but couldn't afford it? Buy a fake one and attach it with sticky tape! These plastic add-ons are non-functional, and yes, dumb, da-dumb, dumb.

2. Sparkle Paint

Cars with sparkle paint jobs always remind me of an old, gay drum set. Maybe because I received an old, gay, glittery drum set for Christmas one year. All I know is, sparkle paint does not belong on a vehicle that's too big to race on a "Super Action Stunt Set."

And finally...

1. Truck Nuts

"Hey, look at me! I'm such a tough guy, even my truck

has a ball sack!!" This is the dumbest -- and I mean

dumbest with a capital D -- auto accessory ever made.

No wait -- I take that back -- it's so dumb it gets TWO capital D's.

And for the man who has everything? Lighted truck nuts!