Guy Tries to Get James Cameron to Sign His Avatar Poster

And it doesn't go well.

Cameron needs to dip into his mega bank account and buy some class.

Avatar Mini Review

My buddy Eric just texted me with his take on Avatar...

Saw Avatar in 3D today. The 3D effect is subtle and well done. Formulaic story but well told. Impressive special effects all the way through with a couple of double-take moments. There are probably one or two genuine scenes where they actually completely pass through the uncanny valley. And they look more believable when they're dirty and messed up. Cameron pulled it off. In terms of effects it could be a game changer in the sheer amount and level of consistent quality. If he could make the whole movie through the valley then it would actually rape your eyeballs. As of now it's more of an eyeball hand job, still gets a really happy ending but doesn't leave you with that OMG feeling. Definitely worth your $10 though. 

There you have it. I'd like to get into the theater to see it but I may have to wait until after the holidays. Sounds promising though!

The Avatar Trailer: Geekdom Responds

The hardcores came out in droves today in response to the Avatar trailer. It's our first real look at this sci-fi film slated for December 18. Here's what they're saying over at the AICN Talkback boards. Let me just say that as of 10:00PM Eastern there are 1,757 posts and counting. Backlash? Not since The Phantom Menace have I seen so many negative posts... FIERCE. I've read damn near all of them and these are my hand-picked favorites. Here we go...

This is it. We now all know the truth. This is ugly as shit, CG everywhere, this is Final Fantasy Spirits Within only 1,000 times uglier, there is the same eyeball problem as those Zemeckis shites, thank god Rothman is going down with this.

That's the trailer for the videogame, right? right? because that can't be the real trailer, it simply cannot, it's so f#*king cartoony its laughable!!!

JARVATARD!

Looks like an xbox 360 game. i guess we've come as far as cgi can go....cause this SURE doesn't look photo realistic!!!

The soundtrack sounds good though. Just to throw that out there. It's the best thing about the teaser.

James Cameron: the new George Lucas! Think about it, both took a massive break from directing. Both have served up over-hyped cartoony CG sci-fi garbage as a comeback. Admit it!!

Man did you see Sam Worthington though? That guys got some acting chops! His use of wheel chair rivals Daniel Day Lewis. He embodies Stephen Hawking in the mere 5 seconds we saw him. He should star in everything!

Photorealistic my ass. This could have been done 10 years ago.

How is this any better looking than a Final Fantasy film or even PIXAR's stuff?

Go back and look at past CGI stuff. Like Jurassic Park... made 16 years ago. The T-Rex still looks real. Look at it chasing Jeff Goldblum. Don't tell me that the CGI in Avatar looks more real than that. Seriously. Honestly, I'm starting to wonder if this teaser trailer is just filled with unfinished, quick-render stuff.

Fern Gully 2: The Magical Rescue was over 10 years ago. Man I'm tired of all these reboots.

Fern Gully 2: Electric Boogaloo. With Sam Worthington protecting the creatures of Ferngully, whose very existence is threatened by the Human Race. I'm sorry but I remember when everyone here thought James Cameron was gonna save cinema with this film. Everyone was like "Cameron's gonna show Lucas and Spielberg how to do CG right" and all kinds of other hyperbole that was probably put there by Cameron and his ego.

This is James F#*ing Cameron, you mothers! Even given all the cgi work and the sci-fi and all that Cameron is first and foremost a great storyteller, as kick-ass as his action is, and it always is, there's always something extra-awesome in what Cameron does. There are some actors that just never, and I mean NEVER, phone it in, like Ray Liotta. Cameron as a director never phones it in and this movie will be great, no doubt in my mind.

Drink Cameron's Kool-Aid. Drink it!

$350 million vs. $30 million. And the $30 million flick looks way better.

Dances With Aliens... sweet.

My eyes are dripping with JC's semen!!!!!

Looks like a CG version of Fern Gully... we'll see if it looks any better at the preview tomorrow.

Personally, i was blown away with what i saw, and will most definitely be in line to see this in the theatre... the aliens looked 100% real to me

You know what else sucks? The fact that this "fantastic" world is populated by dinosaurs, and 10ft tall blue humans. The next time, take all that money and go buy yourselves an imagination, and THEN make a movie. F#*k.

District 9, it would appear, is the actual game changer. Not because the efx were mind-blowing, but because they managed to make a 37 million dollar indie-ish flick look like 200 million dollar blockbuster.

There's some serious talent trying VERY HARD to make something VERY exceptional. I agree if the story is not up to par, then it's a mere technical exercise. But Cameron is no Bay, or Lucas for that matter. Jim seems to have a deeper understanding of entertainment.

The script, performances and direction better rock because the CGI blows. None of it looks convincing. I don't see any huge advances based on the trailer. The CGI movement still is off. The characters look gummy and cartoony and the backgrounds look like something out of Myst.

My eyeballs didn't get lucky. Not even an end of the night hug – instead the Avatar trailer walked me to the door and said, “you’re a great friend.”

For months I've read nothing but how much eyeball f#*king Avatar was going to inflict. People (without seeing so much as a production shot) were harping that Avatar was going to be the "next Star Wars." After seeing this cartoon of a trailer, I can't help but laugh my ass off at all of them. For a while I thought I was watching scenes from the next Shrek film, hahahahahahahahaha!

It looks like all CGI-heavy films look: like watching someone else play a video game. And has there ever been any work of art this long in the making that was any good? Does Chinese Democracy mean nothing? I'll stick with Starship Troopers, thanks.

Does Cameron (who has made some of my favorite movies) not realize that we have all seen this shit before? In goddamned VIDEOGAMES no less? I am totally baffled... there had better be some BIG surprises in the movie to save it from the crap that the trailer shows.

Having watched the trailer again, for a 6th time, I'm shocked. 200m to feed one mans ego on a premise, look and story that looks so dated and old... when the studio could have invested in new talent, ideas, on small budgets. You could get 10 exciting projects out of one Avi-shit. Criminal.

The real story here is that this thing is going to be a financial turd. I'm not a hater, I think it looks cool and will go see it in the theater. But seriously, there's no way mainstream audiences are going to go watch blue elves fight cartoon robots. Some studio executive just shit his pants after watching this trailer.

The hype almost had me going. What a f#*king turd. It kind of reminded me of SpaceJam with its shitty mix of real life and cartoons.

It looks cartoony. It just does. We're not all lying to ourselves because we have it out for James Cameron or some shit. In fact, I think it's the opposite, if anything. Most of us are eagerly anticipating this film. Still. Now, that said, IT LOOKS F#*KING CARTOONY. Quit saying it doesn't. The fact is, it does, and we're all more than f#*king entitled to think that. Your justifications are bunk. I know damn well there's no such thing as a six-and-a-half-foot shrimp alien, but that didn't stop them from looking real in District 9. WE'VE SEEN BETTER CG THAN THIS. The color palette is impressive, and the look of the film is GORGEOUS. It just also looks fake.

The CGI/Actor interface doesn't work. If you look at where the worryingly effete avatar wakes up on the hospital trolley, the actors are looking at a point about 2 feet behind his camp fashion designer's head. Couldn't they afford a stick with a bit of card on it when shooting..?

That f#*king shithead Cameron could have saved tens of millions if he had the brains to just make the Thundersmurfs the same size as humans, painted his actors blue and slapped on some prosthetics, contact lenses and I wouldn’t have given a shit. The make-up for Mystique in the X-Men movies looked better then this CGI shit and it would have also allowed for the actual actors to emote rather then us watching a cartoon.

This bitching is so pathetic. One of the most revered sci-fi directors of the last 30 years hands you an almost completely cg trailer with incredible effects, battle-mechs, and spaceships dogfighting with flying dragons, and you proceed to shit all over it and calling it crap.

I work in the industry, so I guess I'm more discriminating than most. But honestly, the CG doesn't look much better than "Beauwolf." The character movements are still stiff (just look at the first scene where he slams his arm against the glass). The CG is still too clean. The skin doesn't have enough grit and texture. The environments don't have enough atmosphere. The eyes and teeth look cartoonish. Still, I guess that's a good thing. It should be incredibly difficult for computers to replicate life.

WHAT THE F#*K HAVE YOU EVER DONE IN YOUR PATHETIC LIVES. THIS GUY IS CHANGING THE GAME... IM ALL ABOUT DISTRICT 9 AND IT WAS F#*KING AMAZING BUT THIS IS THE CONVERGENCE OF ALL OF THE COLLECTIVE STORYTELLING CAPABILITIES WE HAVE... FILM, GAMING ETC. BE HAPPY ITS HERE...!!!!!!

Seriously, that was supposed to be PHOTOREALISTIC CGI?!? Firstly, the Na’vi look really f#*king retarded. Secondly, despite my dislike of District 9, the Rock Lobsters looked great and that’s because they were being rendered against real backgrounds so the animators had to match them to environment conditions such as lighting. The problem with Avatar is that almost all the environments are fully CGI so there is nothing for the animators to work with in terms of reference which is why it really does look like cut scenes from a video game. I seriously think that this movie is going to f#*king crash and burn. There is just NOTHING here that we haven’t seen before and we all know that Cameron isn’t any sort of great writer so I’m predicting that test screenings will get this pushed back to next summer because I sure as f#*k don’t see this pulling in the bank of Titanic. It will be lucky to get back it’s production and marketing costs. What we have with Avatar is another Phantom Menace. A movie made by director who’s spent way to much time away from the camera and has fallen in love with his CGI toys. Cameron really thinks that it’s justifiable to build 3D theatres across the country and charge people $20 to $25 a pop just for the so called “privilege” of seeing more shit put out by increasingly out of touch Directors like himself, Robert Zememkis, Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson?

The Wolfman trailer looks pretty good.

HEY QUAID, YOU EVER F#*ED A NAVI? NOO BENNEH, SCREWWWW YOUUUUUU!!!!

It looks good to me. And since when does cartoony = bad? I f#*kin' love cartoons! I wanna live in a cartoon. Doesn't everybody?

My eyeballs feel like they've just been with that rich, cheerleader chick from high school that everyone was thought was so hot, but who turned out to just sort of lie there like a paralyzed fish when I actually did manage to nail her.

Once any of you people actually learn anything about this industry, then you're welcome to give your advice or opinion. You people seriously know f#*k-all about anything. All you do is talk shit with no real substantial knowledge to back any of it up. Are you the basement-dwelling, X-box playing mama's boys the world says you are? Who knows. Maybe, maybe not. But you'll never make anything the world will spend money to see or enjoy or grow up watching, or call their all-time favorite films. All you know how to do is talk out your ass.

Oh, because we don’t “work in the industry” we can’t criticize why a 300 million dollar f#*king movie looks like a piece of shit? Go f#*k yourself you moron. THREE. HUNDRED. MILLION. DOLLARS. Let’s your f#*king pea-sized brain absorb that number for a few minutes then come back and tell us why we shouldn’t expect anything less than a masterpiece from a movie that cost the GNP of Guam? You know, I f#*king called this shit years ago. Cameron wasn’t waiting until CGI got better to achieve his “vision”, NO, it was always about waiting until budgets got so high that no one would flinch at a 300 million dollar price tag.

It "feels" wrong or off somehow. Am I the only one who thinks the character designs are all wrong? And the whole thing looked really fake. I know Cameron spent four years and untold millions on this new technology, but to me this doesn't look a damn bit better than the horrid Star Wars prequels.

Seeing people say things like "his track record should be reason enough to give him a shot" make me scratch my head. maybe i'm special but i could care less that cameron made this, i could care less who makes any movie or who is in it, who wrote it, who placed the duct tape for the cables on the floor. i go see movies because i see a trailer or tv spot and i think it looks good. i dont give a shit who was involved with the making of it. giving movies a free pass because of who made it is just sad.

Ok, i will agree to watch it only if the game controller is included in the ticket price!

Here's The Official Avatar Trailer (The Real One)

Avatar Trailer - Watch more free videos

Years of hype and anticipation has led to this moment. James Cameron's Avatar trailer is here.

I searched around for a clean clip (the YouTube transfers are crap.)

Later on I'll be posting some commentary from the Ain't It Cool News Talkback boards.

So. Whaddaya think? Does it appear to be the "game changer" Cameron has been promising? I'd love to hear your thoughts...

Avatar Trailer Will Blow Your Mind

And so it is written.

Offical Avatar Movie Poster Hits, Hilarious Commentary Ensues

Here's the official Avatar poster, wanna see it?


Anyway, so this poster sparked some recent Avatar-related commentary on the AICN Talkback boards. The mere thought that Cameron fanboys might actually be ripping on this breakthrough, "it's-gonna-change-the-way-all-movies-are-made" upcoming film is funny to me. As I read the comments I was surprisingly entertained. Here are some of my favorites, see if you have a chuckle or two...

Looks like the TOTAL RECALL DVD cover. Underwhelmed.

All of the artwork we have been shown is exremely generic. Nothing as groundbreaking as seeing the terminator or alien design for the first time.

I'm glad to see Rebecca Romijn is getting some work.

In terms of EYE RAPE, that there nifty TRON trailer ALREADY raped the world's eyes. EVERYONE I know, from the casual consumer of occasional geekfilm to the RAGING FANBOYS n' FANGIRLS went completely apeshit for that trailer. Not so much for a giant picture of a Thundercat.

A turd in 3-D is still a turd... by Jim Cameron's beard, doth sayeth.

AND I THOUGHT NA'VI P#*@Y SMELLED BAD... ON THE OUTSIDE!

Will the cat girl=JarJar? Remember his "performance" was supposed to revolutionize film making as well...

I can't wait to see this do the relative box-office of BEOWULF, which is all anyone is going to see it as - "Wow, it's one of them computer movies!" They could spend $500trillion dollars on the effects, put the movie in 3-D with Smell-o-Vision added, dance in the streets advertising free beer at the auditoriums, and people would ignore this. Just look at what happened at ComicCon. The geek crowd went rushing to their blogs to proclaim it ... kinda OK, and the average person remained totally unaware of it. Consider that they're going to show a BIG CHUNK RELAIVE TO THE RUNNING TIME of this movie for FREE because they can't drum up interest any other way. This project is beyond doomed, and may destroy a studio in the process, and will almost certainly destroy the bankability of one James Cameron, who really ought to know better. It's a SCIENCE FICTION MOVIE ABOUT A HERO WHO'S NEVER IN DANGER BECAUSE HE'S USING A PUPPET ... WHO GETS TOGETHER WITH A BLUE THUNDERCAT IN THE JUNGLE TO LEARN THE BEAUTY OF NATURE. Consider that. Just ****ing consider that, all you proclaimers that it's going to be the biggest box-office hit of all time. You're NUTS.

Wow, CGI so realistic they could have painted an actor for the same exact effect!

This movie is about the epic quest to get danny devito's autograph.

James “King of the World” Cameron has not spent 12 years and 300 million to simply make a movie, F#*% NO, what he’s done is created a motion picture so advanced that every aspect of it has been though out to the tiniest detail from the gravitation field of the planet Pandora right down to the cellular structure of a 12 foot tall female with an enormous blue gash!!!

GET AWAY FROM HER YOU BLUE BITCH!!!

Why the hell did the title designer choose Papyrus font? It is the single most overused "specialty font" around. I guess everyone thinks it looks classy and refined. It just looks tacky now.

They say when you see this poster in person a dick comes out of it and f#*%s you in the eye.

In her p#*@y, you will find a new definition of pain and suffering as you are slowly digested over a thousand years.

I am thinking that this will be another Abyss.

Horrible, just horrible marketing!!! Really, who's supposed to give a shit seeing that poster? No one besides some fanboys knows anything about that upcoming flic. No teasers, no interviews, rarely any glimpses regarding the look of the movie. I know, Cameron wants to suprise the fans but Sci-Fi just doesn't play for the common audience (anymore). And that poster is just another example of bad marketing. It's too simple and uniteresting to tease the everyday moviegoer and the letters "from the director of...Titanic" won't do anything for the Sci-Fi-fans! I'm surely going to watch this but I'm affraid that a possible new quality franchise will totally bomb just because of lousy marketing!

Will there be onscreen sex? And a gigantic blue hovering nutsack swinging in gloriuos 3D over our eyeballs? There better be, otherwise devin from chud won't like it.

Ya know, this all kinda reminds me of 1999, when everybody heard George Lucas was about to release the first of three "prequel" movies to STAR WARS. George-f#*@ing-Lucas, man. After twenty years' sabbatical, the dude who directed STAR WARS was gonna come back, with today's special effects to finally realize his imagination, to DIRECT ANOTHER STAR WARS MOVIE!!! And that first trailer!!! No way was it gonna be bad... Aw, hell, you guys know how that turned out. Anyway, Cameron is definitely eighty times the director Lucas is ... but so was Spielberg. And INDY IV happened. Maybe I'll reserve judgment until there's at least a trailer, but I have a feeling we're all gonna wish he'd put this money and effort into a TERMINATOR sequel. There's an awful lot of "Oh. Is that it?" going on here, and I'm afraid it'll only get worse.

I guess I'll have to settle for an eyeball hand job.

SDCC Report: Avatar Footage Shown! Detailed Description!

So here we go. After months, maybe years of speculation, hype, rumors, and everything else, people have gotten their first look at James Cameron's up-and-coming 3D film, Avatar. The good news is, the footage reportedly looked great. The bad news is your eyeballs may not get raped out of their sockets after all.

Quint from Ain't It Cool News provided a very detailed run-down of the footage shown, a full 25 minutes worth. Here's a quote:

"Honestly, I’ve never had a picture of this movie in my head. The plot has been vague, the details minimal…

so I’ve only ever hoped to see a fun, kick-ass James Cameron movie. On that level, I’m positive the eye-candy will be there for me come December. But I will say lower those expectations. The footage was good, layered, incredibly detailed and full of imagination and incredible imagery, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s the next quantum leap forward in filmmaking. However there's no doubt Cameron's pushing the limits. Just don't expect to have your head blown out your asshole or eyeballs raped or whatever the newest talkback thing is."

I was kinda hoping for an eyeball rapin' myself. Oh well. For the full report, click here.

SDCC Report: Get Ready To Watch 15 Minutes Of Avatar In 3D... For FREE

Get ready to mark your friggin' calenders. According to Ain't It Cool News, Cameron just announced a deal with IMAX theaters (digital and film IMAX's). On August 21st, IMAX theaters across the country will be showing 15 minutes of 3D footage from Avatar... for FREE!

One thing I've been wondering though, and maybe you know the answer to this. Is the title of this film a poor choice and/or confusing? There was already an animated series called Avatar The Last Air Bender. I typed "Avatar" into Google and nearly all the images I got (at least 90%) were from the stupid cartoon show! I don't get it. You'd think Cameron would have somehow secured a more unique title or maybe alter the spelling or something. What do you think?

SDCC Report: Avatar Toys On Display

Wanna play with your own Sigourney Weaver? Maybe a crazy-ass panther/lizard creature? And there are more, oh lots more... from Cameron's upcoming film Avatar.

Loads of Avatar action figure pics over at io9