Happy Turkey Day

Incredible, Amazing Keyboard Drummer Guy Really Makes Me Mad

Because he can play drums better and faster on a keyboard than I can even think up in my head.

Kid's Detention Slip Is Comedy Gold

Thanks to Comics Alliance for this.

Andrea Grant

I love these pictures for some reason. They are very artsy. Plus, I am kind of horny which seems to make them extra valuable.

Her name is Andrea Grant. If you are reading in a hurry, you probably just read that as "Andre the Giant." You did, didn't you? Heh, I did that too.

Anyway, Andrea Grant (unlike Andre The Giant) is a sexy girl who does a lot of dirty-type-retro-pin-up poses. As you can see by the images I have gathered for you, her sex appeal is pretty much crackling right through the screen.

Andrea also dabbles in poetry. Here. Witness one of her recitals:

I have to say I tried but I am not really getting it. She might actually be crazy.

Okay, this video clip has some merit. Andrea is taking a bubble bath:

Even if she isn't technically crazy, Andrea is too beautiful to be wasting her time doing things like reading and talking. She should stick to what she's good at: looking hot. She should just dress up like a pinup girl or a gun moll * and be stared at and admired. And banged.

* I wanted to give you the definition of "gun moll" considering no one has used that term in probably 78 years.

F As In F-F-F-FLARP!

This goes out to my awesome friend Tyrone. Yes, I too recall the good times at Flynt Publishing when we strolled into a KayBee toy store and discovered the magical worthlessness of Flarp!

Here's a video showing two really bored dudes playing with Flarp! As ashamed as I am to admit it, the Flarp! demonstration gets progressively funnier with time:

I know. Really mature.

And now for a really weird dude

who-talks

like-he-is

an-android-or-something:

Watch All The Deaths In Total Recall In Less Than 4 Minutes

"BENNY, SCREW YOUUUUUUU!!!!"

Come to think of it, four solid minutes of death footage from

a sci-fi movie is a lot of deaths!

"Mom" Desperately Needs Your Help On Craigslist

I saw this a few minutes ago on CL and just had to grab a screenshot.

This kid er, "mom" is very desperate and needs to purchase two video game systems for her kids for Christmas. But she doesn't have much money. Won't you please help? Click the image above for a larger view.

Gotta give him credit... you'll never know unless you try, kid!

Microman Retro TV Commercials Are A Trip

Microman — better known here in the States as Micronauts — was an awesome toy line back in the day. I posted about Micronauts and the potential for a Micronauts movie a couple of weeks ago so click that one if you'd like. Yes indeed, it has been a dream of mine for quite some time, if you want to read more.

So I just tripped on some Japanese TV commercials and I thought you might get a kick out of them too.

"Me-curro-MAHHN!"

Evidence That There Was No "Low-Flying Pelican" When That Guy Sank His $2 Million Bugatti Veyron

If you missed the original report, click here.



I laughed when my buddy Eric said, "He was probably checking his Facebook on his phone to see how popular he was."

Yes, That Is Correct... Another Really, Really, Really,Really, Really, Really, Really, Really, Really, Really, Really, Really Nice Picture

What a sweet shot. I might have to change my underwear.

Her name is Diahann and she is one sexay beeotch. Click it for a better view.

Her MySpace page can be found here.

Super Gallery: Denise Milani

God Almighty to the Power of Grayskull, would you look at this. I have gathered ten pictures of a woman named Denise Milani.

Milani Shilani, who cares... just look at her!!

Never, Ever Say There Are No More Original Ideas Left: Gentlemen, I Give You... The Strippermobile!

Yes. Watch the video clip and then go jump off a cliff because you didn't think of it first. I know I'm going to.

Hot Babe Of The Month: This Chick

I have no idea who it is but holy mother of god's left nut sack she is hot.

Anyone know who this is? Does it really matter?

J. Jonah Jameson Was Right: Spider-Man IS A Menace!

This just kills me. Hilarious!

From the L.A. Times:
A Spider-Man impersonator was arrested on outstanding criminal warrants Wednesday after an incident in which he allegedly slugged a man.

The incident began when Los Angeles Police Department patrol officers received a radio call reporting battery by a man in a Spider-Man costume. When they arrived, they encountered four people dressed as the web-slinging crusader.

The funny part is, it was actually Mysterio projecting multiple images of Spidey throughout the city. haha

The full story here.

Guy Moonwalks On Air

This dude is strong as FU - !

Remote-Controlled Bowling Ball

In the world of ever-increasing technology, even friggin' BOWLING isn't sacred anymore.

This Magnavox Odyssey2 Commercial Is Pretty Terrible

Even back in 1982 I remember thinking to myself, "This is pretty terrible."

I will admit to owning and -- occasionally enjoying -- Odyssey2 and several of the games. But 90% of the games were very unoriginal -- and they only gave you ONE LIFE! If your guy died that was it, you had to start over! Arrgh! Yeah, unoriginal... a lot like this commercial. There's very little originality to it. For one, the guy's name is Wizard Of Odyssey. Jesus. Okay, second, he looks like a bad imitation of that evil dude in the old Battlestar Galactica TV series... what was his name again... Baldor? I can't remember.

Oh, okay I just looked it up. Baltor! That was his name! Here's a comparison:

The Wizard of Odyssey________The Evil Baltor

Third, his base of operations looks... oh... EXACTLY LIKE SUPERMAN'S FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!!! Let's face it, when it came to the world of video games, Magnavox got its ass whipped from sunup to sundown because the people in charge could not come up with an original idea if someone walked into the building and put AK-47s to everyone's heads!

Another $2 Million Bugatti Goes Bye-Bye

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (infinity)

I don't have anything against the ultra-wealthy. I just love it when they find out how much it sucks to have a really bad day, like the ones 98% of us "regular folk" have.

Here's a video clip:

The story is here.

Thanks to Eric for the link

The Most Amazing Freaking Home Arcade You Have Ever Seen

During some recent MAME-related searches I have tripped over lots of cool things. But none so cool as this.

Several years ago, Virginia resident Peter Hirschberg decided to build his own home arcade. Home arcade. Heh. That's putting it mildly. Wait until you see the video clip below. "Arcade Resort" is more like it.


Is this impressive or what? Mr. Hirschberg (I shall call him Mister, it's the least I can do) has named his slice of gaming heaven "Luna City Arcade."

Every month or two he actually opens his doors to the public so they can play the games for free! His name is Hirschberg so this doesn't make much sense (I'm kidding, I'm kidding!)

Here's the awesome video clip, courtesy of Kotaku:




The electric bill must be insane! Ah, but who cares. Clearly the man has money. A lowly boob such as you or I has nary the funds required to pull off a dream of this magnitude. Or even a dream of 1/100th this magnitude. But we can live vicariously through him and his castle of glee. Check out the official Luna City Arcade website for tons of photos and info!

This Bird Is A Urinal

It is!

Mr. Moustache Pillow Is Fairly Disturbing

Don't you think he looks kind of like the lovechild Parker Stevenson and Ben Stiller would have? Granted that is, if two men could have intercourse and one of them had a vagina and a uterus and then the other guy spoodged in it and then that other dude gave birth?

Yeah, it's weird. You get four different moustache styles and you can interchange them and, well... I guess you're supposed to have fun doing it. You can buy one here. Oh shit, looks like they've already sold out. Looks like they can't make 'em fast enough. Dammit George, why can't we think of something like this and rake in the bucks? Then we could retire to Costa Rica and be DJs.

The Most Unprofessional Weatherman To Ever Hold A Job May Not Be As Dumb As We Think

Two words: Extremely. White.

That's this guy right here. The best part of the video -- if you hang in there to 1:24 -- is the fact that the awesome, boobylicious co-anchor girl (who looks a bit like Catherine Zeta-Jones) seems to actually like him! Judging by her seemingly authentic reaction I think she might even want to bang him! What a lucky weatherman. He gets to act like a fool, keep his job, and pound the living daylights out of that super hot tv news girl. He's my hero!

Amy Sedaris On The Martha Stewart Show

A more fitting place to showcase Amy's sardonic wit, I cannot think of.

Choon Of The Day: Tiesto's Remix Of "I Will Be Here"

Choon Of The Day!

This one is infectious. Seriously. Turn it up and let it play. You will be taken over and energized for the rest of the day. I'm not kidding.

1973 Magnavox Odyssey Commercial Will Make You Spoiled Kids Of Today Thankful For Your Fancy, Uber-Tastic Games

... like Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Spoiled rotten, dat's what you is!

Just look at this 30-second commercial for Odyssey, a system introduced during the pioneering days of video games — and tell me with a straight face you are not thrilled to be alive in 2009. Just tell me!

My Phoenix Cabinet

So on a tip from a buddy of mine I picked up an old arcade cabinet off of Craigslist Saturday. It's in pretty solid shape other than a couple of gouges and a busted out bottom corner. But for my purposes it will make a great MAME machine.

First priority is to vacuum the filth and bugs out and clean the sucker down. She needs love -- she hasn't had any in decades.

Click on the picture to see the extent of the damage

Notice there's quite a bit missing. No coin door, no marquee or bezel, no control panel. Obviously, no monitor either (which is great considering I plan to incorporate an LCD anyway.) But it is exactly what I was looking for... an empty cabinet to house MAME. And at $25 the price was right.

This is what she looked like in her prime

Loads of filth. That gray coloration on the

monitor platform is a thick layer of dust.

The top of the cabinet had more filth

than I've ever seen. Except for maybe Buttslammers 7.

That was really filthy.

The marquee light fixture is broken. The guy I bought it from suggested I pick up a new ballast and wire up the connector so it can plug into an outlet. I have an even better idea: for about ten bucks I can buy a brand new 18-inch fluorescent light fixture; they're cheap as hell these days.

The busted light fixture will have to come out,

and that little mono speaker too

Ideally I wanted a Sega/Gremlin cabinet (with the woodgrain sides, damn I loved me some Astro Blaster back in the day), but this Centuri cab really is the next best thing. After I get done with it I estimate I will have spent a total of around $350 which includes the cabinet itself, paint, hardware, new T-molding, coin door, decals, plexiglass bezel and marquee, marquee light, and a brand new 24-inch widescreen LCD monitor I plan to mount vertically inside. I already own an X-Arcade control panel and PC. The PC is an old gay Dell Optiplex running Windows XP. I don't think I'm going to be able to run HyperSpin on it (awesome front-end) but MAME 32 has always ran smoothly.

This is pretty much how I plan to

mount my X-Arcade controls

There's a lot to do before my ugly duckling turns into a swan. I'll post more on the project as it progresses...

A Sad Day At The Junkyard

Just wanted to post this heinous photograph to show how thousands of old coin-op machines met their demise. Really quite sad to look at. Can you imagine all the great games that were destroyed over the years? Damn, that one on the left seems kinda decent. Actually I grabbed this pic from some dude's web page... it caught my eye as I was searching for MAME-related info. Speaking of that, I just picked up a Phoenix cabinet for $25. More on this tomorrow.

Holy Christ! A Micronauts Movie May Actually Be In The Works

Well, looks like I'm getting getting closer to my dream... I posted about this earlier in the year... and now supposedly there are talks going on regarding a possible Micronauts movie — with JJ Abrams involved, no less. I knew it was only a matter of time before the suits in "Hollywood: Land of Unoriginality" dipped their grubby paws into this toy well.

As a kid, Micronauts were my favorite line of toys, second only to Mego's World's Greatest Superheroes (nothing could ever, ever be better than those cloth-costumed dolls action figures.) One reason I loved Micronauts so much was because most of the figures and accessories had holes and pegs in them, and you could get really creative by adding or subtracting pieces and parts to make unique weapons, vehicles and characters. Plus, they had orange, rubber-tipped missiles that actually fired from missile launcher thingies! Well, until some asshole parenting group laid the law down and forced toy companies to stop making toys with dangerous, rubber-tipped missiles. You could really poke an eye out with those things.

In any case, yeah, AICN is reporting the story and that JJ Abrams may become involved. Click and read if you'd like.

What do you think? A Micronauts movie? JJ Abrams in charge? Would you like to see this go down? Comments!

Lenny Dee: Master Of The Organ

My dad loved music. No matter what he was doing, whether it was eating in the dining room or lounging in the living room or tinkering with his truck out in the garage, he had music playing. I'm a music junkie too and I think that's where I got it from.

Anyway, my dad loved cheesy music of the sixties and early seventies. Really cheesy. A lot of it was like the stuff we've all heard in the first Austin Powers movie. Burt Bacharach, those guys.

Lenny Dee is another one of those cheesy entertainers from back in the day. He played the Hammond organ. The Hammond is known for its distinctive sound and Lenny Dee could play it like nobody's business. In fact, he is remembered as one of the greatest organ players of all time. Here he is:

Here is one of his cheesy album covers:


I know. Organ music is not very cool. But it’s kitschy. It has a very specific charm to it.

If any of you guys are in a silly mood, listen to this clip. Just the first three songs (the last one kinda sucks IMO).



It’s retro cool and cheesy and makes you HAPPY!!

My dad used to play Lenny Dee on a hi-fi unit like this one when I was like 5 or 6 years old:

Seeing a "Stereophonic™ Hi-Fi" unit like this (complete with lift-top lid) really takes me back! I bet if I still had that sucker and restored it, it would fetch some dolla bills.

When I was around eight or nine our house had Lenny Dee music playing all the time. My dad used to shuffle around to it. He seemed the happiest when he was listening to it. But I remember thinking to myself, "Jesus, why would anyone like this crap? Why doesn't my dad play, like, The Bee Gees or Stevie Wonder or Paul McCartney or something cool like that?" Listening to Lenny Dee now, I can understand the charm behind the music. The sixties and early seventies were a much more innocent time, in my opinion. The hippies were just getting their s#*t finished up. Death Metal... Gangster Rap... none of that kind of mind-boggling s#*t was invented yet and people seemed to be more mellowed out than they are now. I mean, yeah, we had 'Nam going on but still. Things were so much more base. I really do envy the adults who had fun in those days. That whole "Jet Set Cocktail Lounge"-type vibe going on... it must have been a pretty cool time.

Oh and I held onto the albums...