Because That's How I Roll

Japanese Human Slip 'N Slide

Okay, I don't know about you, but if I were a contestant on this Japanese game show I would probably lock-up on girl number four, at least, due to the density change in my swim trunks.

New Japanese Electronic Music Toy Can (and Will) Be Used For All Sorts of Perversion

Yup. It will.

Crazy Man at Restaurant

"Leave Sean Connery alone!!"

Gotta Shock 'Em All, Gotta Shock 'Em All

I did not know this.

I know. I don't know a lot of things, but this is one of them.

Anyway, I did not know that back in 1997 an episode of Pokemon aired on Japanese television that caused hundreds and hundreds of little kids to be rushed to hospitals. The children had experienced seizures! When I read this, I was like WTF? Here's a link to the report.

So anyway, if you're too lazy to click on the link, here's the rundown. There is a scene in the episode containing rapidly flashing colors during a missile attack; specifically blue and red. This particular strobe effect was just crazy enough to F up more than 600 little ones who happened to be watching. The episode — which became known as the "Pokemon Shock" episode — was pretty much banned and later altered with slowed-down frames of animation.

And now — for the first time ever — here is your chance to watch the ORIGINAL, seizure-inducing scene from the infamous "banned from TV" episode of Pokemon. Just remember I am not legally responsible if your head explodes like in Scanners, okay? Watch at your own risk.

Try Decaf

Happy Meal Becomes Sad Meal: Idiot Politicians in San Francisco Destroy Fun

So they're passing a ban on Happy Meals and other fast food meals that are "too happy." As in too tasty. As in not good for you. This is happening in San Francisco right now but rest assured this terrible killing-of-tasty-food trend will continue to spread across the rest of the country. Here are the requirements:

• The meal can't exceed 600 calories
• Less than 35 percent of the calories can come from fat (nuts, nut butters, low-fat cheese excepted)
• It's required to have a half cup of vegetables
• Breakfast meals are required to have a half cup of fruit
• Sodium limits
• A multigrain requirement

Can you believe this shit? What the hell is next, Logan's Run?

Call My Parents

Heads up, this is not funny nor is it enjoyable. It is just plain unsettling. But you should still watch it if for no other reason than to come to terms with the fact our world is littered with crazy people.

The story goes that some chick wigged-out at an airport, climbing and jumping on top of a Starbucks counter:

Some girl totally geeked out past security check at gate C Jet Blue at Logan Airport March 12, 2010. Somebody either tackle this bitch or call her god dam parents!!! 

Dude Does His Beatbox Thang to Trololo Guy

No doubt about it, Trololo Guy is taking the world by storm.

Trololo Guy Watches YouTube Videos And Responds!

Plus he sings at the end!

This Just In: Trololo Guy (Eduard Khil) Is Still Alive, Addresses the People of the World

Trololo Guy: A Disturbing Remix

Possibly more disturbing than the original... maybe? Damn, it's all so wacko and funny at the same time...



Thanks for the link, Emily!

The World of SpongeBob SquarePants Just Got Very Frightening...

My Burger King Rant

First of all let me just get this out of the way right now: Burger King's french fries are the very definition of fail. Only a mentally deficient ass-wad would savor the taste of those godforsaken shit fries. The texture is terrible and they have no flavor. Why in the name of Jesus and baby Jesus did they ever change their fries? I don't know of one single person who has defended those fecal fries, not one. I mean, yeah, I understand experimentation to a degree. Change things up a little, see what happens. Maybe sales go up. But Burger King's fries suck it hard. It's pretty sad when you can make better tasting fries using the frozen ones from the grocery store. Coke changed their product years ago... but when everyone and their brother bitched and moaned about the inferior taste of "New Coke," Coke went ahead and did the right thing... THEY CHANGED IT BACK!

Okay so that wasn't really my rant. Here's my rant. I went through a Burger King drive through a few weeks ago and ordered a variation of my usual Whopper with cheese, no tomato. This time I asked for a Whopper with cheese, no tomato... and extra lettuce.

I give my order to the chick on the other end of the craptacular speaker box. She says back to me, "Okay, you aware that extra lettuce costs extra?" I said, "Um. Okay. But I asked for no tomato... if you are taking the tomato away and replacing it with lettuce then why does the extra lettuce cost extra?" The stupid chick says, "Okay, I see. Pull around."

She didn't charge me extra for the lettuce because I called her on it. But think how many millions of dollars Burger King has made off of people like me. In all seriousness, I know the extra 30 cents or so is no huge deal... but every once in a while I see something that I have to call out based soley on principle or just pure common sense. I wanted to make a point with the extra lettuce thing and it made me feel a tiny bit vindicated.

And furthermore... based on this "toppings pricing formula," every time I ask for no tomato (which I have been doing for more than twenty years) shouldn't Burger King DEDUCT 30 cents from the price of my Whopper? Shouldn't they... seriously? F#*%ing assholes.


So I just Googled "Burger King charges extra" and I found something interesting. It involves Burger King and the fleecing of America with its evil "charge extra for toppings" policy. The embed wouldn't work but here, watch this video clip from an ABC News affiliate in New York.The bottom line is this. Other than telling them that they need to wake up and realize they have the absolute worst fries on the face of the earth, I would like to say one thing to the executives at Burger King: IF A CUSTOMER IS ASKING FOR ONE CONDIMENT IN PLACE OF ANOTHER CONDIMENT, WHY THE F#*% ARE YOU CHARGING THEM, YOU EVIL F#*%S?

Rant over.

Hey, Want Some Cheetos?

Six Cute, Fun Things That Were Created With Crochet And Two Terrible Ones

A Michael Jackson Baby Doll. It's Just Weird.

Then again, why wouldn't it be?

Grendizer

Yes, Grendizer I say.

What Is Up With These Ads?

Really? I mean, really? Here's another one:

Seriously. WTF are they thinking?

Heavy Metal Girl

Second part: Is Crazy