Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year From F As In Fun


Hail yeah, nigga!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Guy Tries to Get James Cameron to Sign His Avatar Poster

And it doesn't go well.



Cameron needs to dip into his mega bank account and buy some class.

Snooki VS Brad Ferro: FIGHT!

This, from my buddy Dan...

Two questions:
1) Have you seen the Jersey Shore Snooki punch?
2) Have you played Street Fighter II?



Thanks, Dan!

Friday, December 25, 2009

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Heavy Metal Girl

Second part: Is Crazy



Monday, December 21, 2009

Christmas Morning Nintendo 64 Kid: The Remix

It starts off slow but gets rocking at 0:29. Dig the drum solo.

Trailers For Horrible Movies, #2 In A Series: Leprechaun 4 In Space

More 5-star shittiness, this time from 1997!


Sunday, December 20, 2009

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Avatar Mini Review


My buddy Eric just texted me with his take on Avatar...

Saw Avatar in 3D today. The 3D effect is subtle and well done. Formulaic story but well told. Impressive special effects all the way through with a couple of double-take moments. There are probably one or two genuine scenes where they actually completely pass through the uncanny valley. And they look more believable when they're dirty and messed up. Cameron pulled it off. In terms of effects it could be a game changer in the sheer amount and level of consistent quality. If he could make the whole movie through the valley then it would actually rape your eyeballs. As of now it's more of an eyeball hand job, still gets a really happy ending but doesn't leave you with that OMG feeling. Definitely worth your $10 though. 

There you have it. I'd like to get into the theater to see it but I may have to wait until after the holidays. Sounds promising though!



Peanuts Christmas: Bringin' Sexy Back

Techno Song Made Entirely From Jeep Cherokee Sounds

This is pretty cool. And it's catchy. You'll like it.

Friday, December 18, 2009

The Christmas Morning Nintendo 64 Kid

Do you remember how you felt as a kid on Christmas morning? When your dreams came true and you got that most wanted present?



I know, I know — it's an old clip but A) It's Christmastime and B) I never posted it on my blog so I thought I would share.

Merry Christmas and may all your dreams come true!

Sketchy Santas

My buddy Derek sent me a link to an awesome site this morning. It's filled with scary, sketchy, bizarre photos of Santa Claus posing with kids (for the most part.) Here are some of my favorites...






Hit the link for more!

Friday FAILS





Thursday, December 17, 2009

WTF: Learning English

I don't know exactly what this is but it is god-damn crazy.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Bizarre Ad

Saw this earlier today and thought to myself, "That doesn't look like a mom. That looks more like Rob Zombie." It isn't Rob Zombie but geez, how weird they would use that pic.

Hottest Babes In Christmas Movies

Good stuff right here, courtesy of my pals at Holy Taco...


Trailers For Horrible Movies, #1 In A Series: Star Crystal

Back in 1985 it seemed everyone was jumping on the whole Alien sci-fi trend. Tons of shitty films were produced on miniscule budgets and foisted upon the movie-going public, 99% of which weren't even good enough to wipe Alien's ass. Here is one of those films. Say hello to... Star Crystal!




Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Stripper FAILS


Strippers stripping. And failing.

Once again, thanks to Holy Taco.

What If James Cameron Directed Spider-Man?

For one thing, Peter Parker would have been kind of an ass-hole. Pretty interesting to say the least. Skip on over to io9 for more...


NASA Gamma Ray Telescope Picks Up Ominous Image

Why did an entire galaxy 7.2 billion light years away from us suddenly flare up like an exploding sun* recently? And why does the red stuff look like it's floating off my monitor? (optical illusion there...)



"We're looking right down the barrel of a particle jet powered by the galaxy's supermassive black hole," said Gino Tosti at the National Institute of Nuclear Physics in Perugia, Italy. 

io9 has more...


* I stole that line from "Space Seed," an old Star Trek episode


Large Hadron Collider (LHC)... New Evidence We Are In Trouble!

I don't know about you but omg, look:


You see that? Apparently Gordon Freeman is part of the team running the damn thing. WE ARE ALL DOOMED!!

It's The Mothaf#*%in' Ramadan, Charlie Brown

We've all seen Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown. This one? This one is a little different.

PLEASE NOTE: PROFANITY HEAVY AND PROBABLY NSFW


Monday, December 14, 2009

Yes, It Is Time Once Again For..... O Holy Crap

What you are about to hear is the stuff of Internet legend.

The story goes something like this. Several years ago a Christian group had asked its members to submit Christmas songs for a holiday album or some such project. Of all the submissions received none were like this one. The song is O Holy Night and it was submitted by a guy who did his best (allegedly) without realizing just how awful his singing was. The audio clip ended up circulating around the net and has become quite popular.

The song is incredibly terrible, and every time you think it can't get worse it does. And that is exactly what makes it so awesome. In my family, along with Jingle Bells and all the other greats, this song has been a staple of the holiday season since 2006. It is a must listen.

I now present to you, dear F As In Fun visitor, O Holy Crap. Enjoy.




Sunday, December 13, 2009

Friday, December 11, 2009

Friday FAILS BONUS!

Since I messed up and haven't posted any FAILS in weeks, I owe you a good one.




How To Build A Mini-Crossbow With Pencils And Stuff


This could be fun: build your own little crossbow out of pencils and tape and shit like that! Go to Gizmodo for the step-by-step.




Friday FAILS

Sorry I haven't posted any of these in forever. Here are some good ones, hope you like 'em...














Thursday, December 10, 2009

Here's A Scary Thought: David Lynch Almost Directed Return Of The Jedi

"Kind of" almost. At one point George Lucas asked David Lynch if he was interested in the director's chair for Episode VI. Check it out:



Think how different Return Of The Jedi would have been with Lynch directing. Thank god he didn't like salad. And that he didn't have any Tylenol handy. 

Well It's About F#*king Time: Browns Beat The Steelers

Jesus H. Christ, finally. The Cleveland Browns actually played all four quarters of a football game and shocked the world by beating The Pittsburgh Steelers 13 - 6. This is the first time we've beat those f#*kers in six years. SIX YEARS!

Eight sacks on Roethlisberger. Awesome. Things are finally starting to shape up. Tonight the Browns looked like a real NFL team. Quinn still has a long way to go (as do most of the other players) but I will say this: they need to keep Rob Ryan, that's for damn sure. He did a hell of a job holding off the Steelers. More details at Cleveland.com.

CHOOOON! The Take By Paul Harris

This track just takes me and puts me in such a good mood. God it's so tight.

Tron Legacy Pic


Wow. Just wow. I love this shot.

A Remake I Can Get Behind: Disney Is Planning To Give Us A New Black Hole* (Why I Hate Disney's The Black Hole)


About a month ago I was going to blog about how much I think Disney's The Black Hole sucks shaved monkey balls but I got sidetracked.

I never owned a copy of the movie but I've always had some good memories of it from back in the day. I remember HBO ran it every day for what must have been months and I watched it mainly out of sheer boredom (in 1979 cable TV had not yet gone full tilt and my options were limited.)

In any event, so about a month ago I picked up a DVD copy at Giant Eagle for like $3.99. I figured "Hell, it's certainly worth four bucks." As it turns out, sure, The Black Hole is worth four bucks. But just barely.

After watching the film again for the first time in literally decades -- not as a punk-ass teenager with the attention span of a chicken, but as an adult -- I came to the conclusion that yes indeed, despite some high points here and there, The Black Hole is a turd. In my mind the name of the film should be... well I'll tell you at the end. It really is pretty hard to sit through from beginning to end, even for a sci-fi loving geek such as myself. Why do I think it's terrible? I'll get to that in a minute.

Okay so here we are, it's 2009, and Disney has already gone into production with TRON Legacy. The preliminary reports on that one seem promising so yes I'm down with a new TRON, no problem. See, TRON was another piece of filmmaking that did not live up to its full potential. Yeah the effects work at the time blew some minds -- and yeah the arcade game was fun -- but really at the end of the day with its awful dialog and lackluster plot, TRON sucked. Just like The Black Hole sucked. They sucked in different ways but they both sucked. In sharp contrast to remaking a great movie like Total Recall, I think the suck factor of TRON and The Black Hole makes re-imagining both of them 100% justifiable.

Heat Vision Blog recently reported Disney was starting up a re-imagining of The Black Hole. It looks like they're really going to go through with it. I think that idea is dope. The concept was never fully realized (yeah, yeah, I know... Event Horizon... whatever... it's not the same thing) and in the right hands doing it using current technology would just knock people out. I hope it goes through and we get a kick-ass Black Hole film.

So okay now, why do I think Disney's The Black Hole sucks? I am assuming if you have to ask that question, you are either someone who A) has never seen the movie B) saw the movie but can't remember anything about it, or C) is mentally retarded. Just kidding with that last one. Honestly where do I start? First let me tell you what I think they got right. The overall vibe is pretty sweet; it really has an eerie, isolated atmosphere, one which few sci-fi films can attest to having delivered. Some of the direction was nice, the cinematographer did some really nice panoramic camera work inside the ship and outside during the space sequences.

The Black Hole also has an awesomely kick-ass giant red robot named Maximilian. He has whirling blades of death. Yay, whirling blades of death!

Maximilian

The music is also really exceptional. If you've never heard it before, you should give it a listen (watch the clips below). Finally, the set design... holy f#*k! The backdrops, the architecture, the spacial properties throughout the movie... they are god-damned fantastic in my opinion.

WARNING... RANT BEGINS HERE.
WARNING... RANT BEGINS HERE.

Now we get to the shitty part. The pacing is terrible. As I watched it recently I felt as if I had been sent to the belly of Sarlac, where I experienced a new definition of the words pain and suffering. The story has so many holes no wonder the f#*king movie has the word "Hole" in it. Alright maybe we can give it a pass to some degree, I mean the concept of gigantic robots from space that breakdance seems to sit well with the general public so who cares about little things like a spaceship being too close to a black hole for most of the movie without being sucked in, am I right? In its blinded pursuit of the Star Wars gravy train, Disney did not know whether to make this movie for kids or adults and the resulting mix shows... it is a dark film yet at times sillier than Woody Woodpecker. More than anything though, most people who have seen The Black Hole would agree that nothing can save it once they have heard what I can only describe as some of the worst, most shitty, abysmal dialog I have ever heard in my life... delivered in a 100% wooden, robotronic manner. You have Anthony Perkins, a guy who was supposed to be damn good, and here he is sucking hard. You have freaking "heavy hitter" and disaster movie legend Earnest Borgnine sucking even harder. The only one who seemed to be able to deliver his lines in a consistent manner with any sense of realism or dignity is the evil dude played by Maximillian Schnell, not to be confused with the kick-ass giant red robot Maximilian. To top it off the actors all have terrible Disney haircuts from 1963. Jesus give me a break! I was 14 years-old when I saw this in the theater and I swear to god I remember thinking to myself, "WTF is going on with these gay haircuts?!" And the little robots... V.I.N.cent, the shiny new one and B.O.B., the beaten-up trash can looking one. V.I.N.cent comes up with horrible cheesy advice such as "A penny earned..." every five minutes, so annoying. B.O.B. on the other hand, yeah B.O.B., the terrible stupid hillbilly f#*king robot... omg please. SLIM PICKENS IS A F#*KING ROBOT!!! DO I NEED TO SAY ANYTHING ELSE TO CONVINCE YOU THAT THIS MOVIE SHOULD HAVE BEEN CALLED "THE ASS HOLE: A JOURNEY THAT BEGINS WHEN YOU WALK OUT OF THE THEATER," AS IN WHEN I EAT TACO BELL AT 3:00 IN THE MORNING, THE JOURNEY OF TACOS BEGINS IN MY MOUTH AND ENDS WHEN THEY COME OUT OF MY ASS HOLE AND GO INTO THE TOILET! NO, HOW 'BOUT THIS ONE, "THE ASS HOLE: A JOURNEY THAT ENDS WHEN I F#*KING GET UP AND TURN THIS SHIT OFF!" THAT'S THE JOURNEY, RIGHT THERE!!!

END OF RANT

Take care and ttys!


Two shitty robots and one really cool one


The only dude in the film who could act


Mego's line of The Black Hole action figures.
As a 14 year-old who refused to give up on toys,
I actually bought two of these with my allowance...
a V.I.N.cent and a Robot Sentry
(for some inexplicable reason... I must have
thought they would look cool battling my Star Wars guys)



Maximilian and his whirling blades of death




The opening six minutes and twenty-six
seconds of the movie. If you listen, you'll
hear a few notes blatantly borrowed from Star Wars.
Overall though, a great soundtrack.


* Which is better, I suppose, than a Dirty Sanchez.


Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Official TRON Poster Revealed

Can I get a HAIL YAY-us?

Click the image for bigger goodness.

Star Wars On Facebook

I'm a bit late with this one however I just have to post it.

Read the rest of the Brainiac clever shit by clicking here.

Thanks to Sheila and Inqisitr!

A Great Quote From Someone Regarding The Rise And Fall Of Creative Genius

George Lucas did it. So did Bryan Singer. Several other big-name movie directors did it too. They blew our minds hitting all the right buttons and wowing fans all over the world with their creative genius. And then. And then something happened. The music stopped. The wheels came off the bus. Whatever you wanna call it, they turned WIN into FAIL.

I've thought about it off and on for many years. How is it someone like George Lucas can make glorious gold with Star Wars Episodes IV, V, and (to a lesser extent) VI, thrill and mesmerize millions of people on this earth... and then years later bestow upon them the crapfest that is Jar-Jar-And-Little-Kid-Who-Can't-Act-And-Oh-By-The-Way-Let's-Forget-About-The-Greatness-Of-The-Likes-Of-Darth-Vader-And-Well-Done-Drama-And-Make-These-Stinking-Shitpile-Prequels-Filled-To-The-Brim-With-Fake-Ass-Computer-Graphics-And-Soap-Opera-Overload? Seriously, how?

George Lucas' home


I was perusing some boards the other day and I read this. A guy calling himself "Violence Jack" pretty much summed it up when he posted this on Topless Robot:

I truly believe one of the biggest factors that makes a creator out of touch with his/her audience happens when they themselves are no longer a part of the audience either. It can happen in several ways.

1. (the most common) You spend so much of your time on the side of the industry that "makes" the product you no longer know what its like to be the consumer. (Most Hollywood Execs.)

2. Movie making is a really tough job. Takes a lot of endurance and burn out is easy. Some take long breaks so they don't end up hating the medium they grew to love. Unfortunately, some take too long of a break and ....to top it off, during their break, they didn't keep tabs on what was going on in their own industry. (George Lucas... and now... I think also James Cameron... sadly.)

3.) You do so well, you start to drink the koolaid too. You think you're actually more talented and clever than you really are and your only connection to the audience is solely through rabid fans who think anything you do is gold. (Wachowski Brothers, Matrix 1 & 2... Michael Bay too?) I think the most talented creators have usually been the ones that still enjoy their own medium enough to go out and experience the works of others just as if they were a regular consumer/audience member.

And there you have it. There are other factors, sure, but as a brief summary regarding this subject I couldn't agree more.

Talkback Comments Re: The Latest Spider-Man 4 Rumors

Sometimes I swear to god I laugh out loud at comments made by AICN talkbackers. If you've never paid witness to the boards on AICN, you are really missing out. We all know what happens when some geeks in this world read news or rumors they don't agree with... they take to the Internets and go off like mad cow. When AICN talkbackers read something they don't like some of them take it to the next level. One part clever, two parts humorous, seven parts hatred. Some comical shit to be sure.

This time, the rage is in response to the latest Spider-Man 4 rumors. John Malkovich as The Vulture? Anne Hathaway as Felicia Hardy a.k.a. The Vulturess? WTF is a Vulturess? WTF happened to The Lizard? Lots of WTF happening there. But yeah, I can almost guarantee right now that you will laugh at many of these golden nuggets. Let's fire away, shall we?

Ex Disgraced Gov Elliot Spitzer should play Vulture
by Stalkeye
Dec 8th, 2009
12:30:24 PM
he looks like a spitting image; older and creepy looking.

the only person to play the vulture is......
by RighteousBrother
Dec 8th, 2009
12:30:53 PM
LARRY DAVID!

The problem with Larry David...
by loodabagel
Dec 8th, 2009
12:32:59 PM
It's a PG13 movie, so he'd be at a loss for words. "Whattaya mean I can't call him Spider-cunt? It's hilarious!"

110 minutes of p. parker's life issues, 10 of spiderman.
by HaterofCrap
Dec 8th, 2009
12:33:17 PM
that is the formula for these shit movies. peter parker is the biggest bore in comics/movies.

AWESOME! Not.
by Quake II
Dec 8th, 2009
12:36:47 PM
Vultress? No fucking way. This is shaping up to be twice the abomination that Spider-Man 3 was. They'll probably throw in the Lizard, Vulture, Mysterio and the Rhino just to overcrowd the movie like the last one did. Did these assholes learn nothing from Batman & Robin? ONE villian, ONE hero. Concentrate on those TWO characters and go make the movie.

I cant wait for "Grape Vultress Slurpees" 
by soup74
Dec 8th, 2009
01:00:50 PM
maybe burger king will give us a double decker chicken sandwich called "the vultures"

It's funny that anyone even gives a shit
by malificus
Dec 8th, 2009
06:57:51 PM
after that abortion that was Spidey 3 I have to laugh that bullshit rumor like this can even generate a response at all. I give Sam total credit, I'm still a fan but I hated Spidey 3, it's almost as if he has some sort of creative axe to grind, like he's purposely making them shittier and shittier the more money they throw at him, and christ Toby McGuire loathes it as well. This story is complete horseshit, Vulturess? If anything remotely like that makes it to film it will kill Raimi's cred once and for all, what small amount he still has. Bring in Electro and Mysterio and stop fucking around, assholes!!
With Anne Hathaway
by NippleEffect
Dec 8th, 2009
01:06:03 PM
there's a chance of some Vulturess side bewb

If this is true, it is the FUCKING END of Spider-Man!
by REVENGE_of_FETT
Dec 8th, 2009
01:06:20 PM

FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL! Why in THE FUCK would you have Felicia Hardy....and not have her BE Felicia Hardy? Why use that name? It makes ZERO SENSE!

If Raimi is absolutely intent on using the dopiest characters in Spider-Man lore, then yes, by all means, use The Vulture! Not using The Lizard because it doesn't have a human face is quite possibly the stupidest thing I've ever heard in connection with these films, and that includes emo hair and disco dancing!


Remember when they cast Dafoe as the Goblin
by Quake II
Dec 8th, 2009
01:13:11 PM
And everyone went, BRILLIANT idea! He LOOKS like the Green Goblin! Add some pointy ears and makeup and it's perfect! Then they covered what is essentially the perfect Green Goblin face with A FUCKING PLASTIC HELMET! Yeah, This series has fucked things up from day one.

I can't believe they are serioous about 4th
by Glory_Fades_ImMaxFischer
Dec 8th, 2009
01:21:55 PM
Spiderman 4 = Superman 4

WOO HOOO, FUCK IT UP EVEN MORE !!!
by VADER77
Dec 8th, 2009
01:32:22 PM
if it wasn't bad enough that Spiderman 2 and 3 sucked, course i didn't think they could fuck Spiderman up any more than they did in 3, here they are proving me WRONG. look, i love Spiderman, and I don't mean the movies, I mean Spidey the character, the comics. The first movie was bad enough as it was, but at least I could watch it, 2 stunk, and 3 was just a horribly effin' nightmare of a travesty that is Marvel/Raimi. Quit taking artistic license with these iconic characters and FOLLOW THE FUCKIN HISTORY!! It's OK to change some stuff here and there, tweak things, but you have to stay true to the cores... they are bastardizing everything about Spidey, and it seems like no one even cares. Stan Lee should be beat within an inch of his life, brought back to health, and have it done again, over and over for pimping out his characters. I can't even believe they could stoop low enough, as to completely change a character like Felicia Hardy-Black Cat, and now SUPPOSEDLY the Vultress.... UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE. and i HATE Kirsten Dunst as Mary Jane. PERIOD.

This will under perform.
by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz
Dec 8th, 2009
01:37:48 PM
It will be a total train wreck. Nolan raised the bar for all comic book movies with TDK and after the last outing of Spiderman it's going to be hard to get people back into those seats again especially casting a weak villain like The Vulture. Terrible terrible choice if true.

Malkovich's line readings:
by REVENGE_of_FETT
Dec 8th, 2009
01:53:08 PM
"Listen. You. Spider. Man. If you think. That I. Would just. Give. Up. Then you. Are sadly. Mistaken. Get thee back. Little. Freak. And witness. The. POWER OF MY AVENGING WINGS!

Old-Ass Super-Villains
by Aquatarkusman
Dec 8th, 2009
01:53:56 PM
Nothing beats "The Terror" from The Tick. I think he beat up Teddy Roosevelt.

Maybe It's Inevitible That Spider-Man Be "Batman & Robined." 
by Sean38
Dec 8th, 2009
02:02:14 PM
Then we can wait a decade, blow the whole thing up, and start over.

AUNT MAY DIES WHEN HER GIRLFRIEND RUPTURES HER…..
by TehCreepyThinMan
Dec 8th, 2009
02:08:57 PM
Bladder with a strap-on that wasn’t greased properly for the dirty old c#*t!

F*CK THE SUITS!!
by marineboy
Dec 8th, 2009
02:18:30 PM
F*CK HOLLYWOOD!!! F*CKING WITH OUR MYTHOLOGY - REWRITE THE BIBLE WHILE YOU"RE AT IT YOU PRICKS!!!!

This *has* to be fake.
by spaceworlder
Dec 8th, 2009
02:28:58 PM
There's no way in hell someone would be stupid enough to make Felicia Hardy the "Vulturess." That would just be inviting an geek/internet backlash of epic proportions. This source either misheard something or he's full of shit. It's just too dumb to be true.

I call bullshit
by SithMenace
Dec 8th, 2009
02:31:01 PM
Sam Raimi has always been respectful of the old school Spider-man villains in his films (although Harry should have been in the original Goblin suit for a total Parker mindfuck), so I can't see him changing Felicia Hardy from The Black Cat to the Vulturess. I say it's misinformation or a bullshit source.

Felicia Hardy, the Black Cat as the Vultress??? GREAT!!!!
by Johnno
Dec 8th, 2009
02:50:45 PM
Now all you assholes will have something genuine to complain and bitch about instead of expending all that misplaced energy on Avatar!

thats some stupid shit
by Dharma4
Dec 8th, 2009
03:01:24 PM
Vulture and Vulturess? WHAT THE FUCK? So VENOM is fucking okay? But The Lizard isn't? Did Raimi lose his balls? WHAT THE FUCK! THIS HAS ME SO FUCKING MAD.

When The Goblin and Spidey had conversations,
by theycallmemrtibbs
Dec 8th, 2009
03:08:59 PM
It felt like I was watching an episode of the Power Rangers. Had to put that out there.

Every-time the Goblin spoke, his head bobbed up and down because of that helmet he wore (Damn, I wished that was make-up.)

Spidey wears a mask, you would think you could at least see his mandible move when he spoke.

The whole Lizard fiasco is bullshit, Raimi need to grow a pair and tell those suits to fuck-off because Nolan raised the bar with Two-face. If that make-up job could get pass an audience without offending anybody, I'm quite sure the lizard could as well.


The Soup Nazi would make a better villain
by YackBacker
Dec 8th, 2009
03:11:58 PM
2 hrs of Spidey battling for lobster bisque!

Spiderman 4: The Quest For Peace
by ChocolateJesusMan
Dec 8th, 2009
03:15:30 PM
So Whose gonna be the "Nuclear Man" in this crap-fest

I agree with you guys about the Lizard/Morbius storyline.
by The Reluctant Austinite
Dec 8th, 2009
03:26:53 PM
I geeked out when the rumor about the Morbius/Lizard and the mutant six-armed Spider-man storyline surfaced. I love that story, and it would be a total freakshow episode of the series. I'm kind of up for that. Plus it would give Spider-man a new look to exploit for toys, action figures, etc. The Vulture was kind of a boring villain to me as a kid (he's not likely to be a big selling toy with kids). I hope they can pull it off.

In the 5th film we get... THE HOBO-GOBLIN...
by The Dum Guy
Dec 8th, 2009
03:43:14 PM
The spider that bit Peter in the first movie bites a bum behind a party store around Halloween, the bum (crazy-drunk on a can of Sterno) finds a discarded pumpkin costume behind the store. 

Thinking that Spiderman stole his bicycle, he dons the pumpkin outfit to fight Spidey for his Schwinn.

The Shockerette
by turketron_2
Dec 8th, 2009
03:49:06 PM
Defeat her by using "2 in the pink 1 in the stink" technique... spidey, you're almost there, just extend your middle finger along with the other two!

Patrick Stewart as the Vulture...
by Read and Shut Up
Dec 8th, 2009
04:03:33 PM
...couldn't save this. Please, Mr. Raimi. You're a fantastic filmmaker, and seem like one of Hollywood's nice guys. DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN. VULTRESS? "Make it so, Vultress!" The fuck you say?!

Yes he will SithMenace
by inneeduvasuperhero
Dec 8th, 2009
04:11:35 PM
For as much as he got right in the first 2, he still mixed up Gwen and MJ, gave us a spiderman that is very short on great sarcasm, gave the goblin a power ranger costume, made Sandman Ben's killer, and made Harry's Goblin into something from the X-games.

I just took a big Raimi. Should I flush it? I think I will.
by Mike_D
Dec 8th, 2009
04:15:50 PM
*flushes*

TehCreepyThinMan, UNCLE BEN KILLED HIMSELF!!!
by Big Jim
Dec 8th, 2009
04:30:21 PM
Spidey digs up Ben's corpse, alternately pummeling what's left of him into jelly crying "You killed my Uncle", and hugging him close with tear-filled promises of "I won't ever let you down again".

PAKAAAAAAAAAAAAW!
by brokentusk
Dec 8th, 2009
04:40:44 PM
"Oh shit, it's The Vulture! We're fucked!"

RAIMI GOTTA EAT!
by Nerd Rage
Dec 8th, 2009
04:54:39 PM
I bet he takes the money no matter how shitty the script. You think he's going to go back to making small horror movies for peanuts? He's got a death grip on this golden goose and he ain't letting go.

I am So Sorry
by knowledge1027
Dec 8th, 2009
05:06:00 PM
True story week before Thanksgiving I meet Sam Raimi in Manhattan near were i work, got to shake his hand and everything. Thought it was pretty cool, now with this news I must say I am sorry to everyone that I didnt kick him in the balls. P.S. I think The rumor Is bulls@#$ I hope

Hey, I just found the teaser poster!
by brokentusk
Dec 8th, 2009
05:54:10 PM
http://imgur.com/8rz7i

Transcript of the Meeting
by marcspector
Dec 8th, 2009
05:56:08 PM
"Hm, the Vulture, huh? Does it have to be a bald guy?" "How about a hot chick!" "The Vulture... ess?! Anyone? The Vulturess? Huh? Bikini and wings? Maybe some go-go boots? How about it? I'm thinking Halle Berry." "Make it Anne Hathaway. And let's replace that Lizard subplot with a dance number!" "Done and done. What's for lunch?"

Really, Marvel? Really?
by atalcot
Dec 8th, 2009
06:36:16 PM
Sigh, I guess we'll just have to wait 10 years for Christopher Nolan to reboot this Series with "Spider-Man Begins"

SO an OLD man in a Vulture suit is ok, but a Lizard ain't?
by Cinemajerk
Dec 8th, 2009
06:45:02 PM
Let me get this straight. The suits are nervous about a meek scientist who transforms into a COOL looking powerful Lizard man.....but they aren't about an OLD MAN in a VULTURE suit?? LOL. Gimme a break. A CGI Lizard who hisses and talks and kicks ass would be AWESOME. Don't get me wrong, Malkovich would be great too. But on the silly scale, a man in a Vulture suit is A LOT sillier than a Lizard Man. :-)

Stupid fucks!
by Logan_1973
Dec 8th, 2009
06:50:37 PM
The whole goddamn world has been waiting for the Lizard! He's got to be more believable then the fucking stay-puft-marshmellow-man Sandman we got! Liz should have been there 3 films ago!

Put Hathaway in Butt Floss
by NippleEffect
Dec 8th, 2009
07:15:31 PM
it'll make a billion dollars

Electro-Woman (and Dyna-Girl)!
by Flim Springfield
Dec 8th, 2009
07:40:12 PM

Apparently Lizard and Kraven just made too much sense
by Miyamoto_Musashi
Dec 8th, 2009
08:07:36 PM
The studio is experimenting, "how much of a mess can we make of a Spiderman movie and still get lots of people to see it, can we top Spiderman 3?"
There's two elements to a Spider-Man film:
by TedKordLives
Dec 8th, 2009
08:23:36 PM
There's crying, and there's the Vultress.-McG

BTW I'm still laughing at "PAKAAAAAAAAW" and "side bewb."