Wednesday, March 31, 2010

School Play: Scarface

Scarface, The School Play. File this one under WTF. The description:

Behold, Scarface School Play, quite possibly the most majestic piece of theater we have ever seen. Ever. Its basically the best thing in the world (which is yours!), and I refuse to say more on the subject. Just watch it. Like, seven times in a row.

I can barely process this as something real. Whatever you do, make sure you check out the action at 1:17 -- it will melt your brain.




Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Call My Parents

Heads up, this is not funny nor is it enjoyable. It is just plain unsettling. But you should still watch it if for no other reason than to come to terms with the fact our world is littered with crazy people.

The story goes that some chick wigged-out at an airport, climbing and jumping on top of a Starbucks counter:

Some girl totally geeked out past security check at gate C Jet Blue at Logan Airport March 12, 2010. Somebody either tackle this bitch or call her god dam parents!!! 



Monday, March 29, 2010

OMG I Hope You Are Sitting Down... The Shocker Of The Millennium! Ricky Martin Is GAY!!

I mean, can you believe this?

I swear to god I used to joke about this back in the day. Ricky Martin had the looks, the moves, he had it all. But one thing I kept saying to myself and anyone else who would care to listen is -- Ricky Martin just had to be gay.

But would anybody listen to me? Nope. They said, "No-ooo, he can't be gay -- look at all the women dancing with him in his music videos -- he looks like he's really enjoying himself!" Yeah. He was. Because he knew that after the video shoot he would be going back to his mansion to SMOKE A POLE!!! 

They laughed at me. But in the end look who is laughing last. OH yeah.

Ricky Martin (left) and his "buddy" getting some sun


I have pretty good "gaydar." But in this case, I felt as if I was living in a world gone mad -- because why was I the only one who could see something so obvious?! Just think to yourself the general vibe Ricky Martin had... very similar to George Michael, am I right?

Come on. Like we didn't know the deal here.

Yes, Ricky Martin was a beautiful man who garnered the adoration of millions of women around the world. He danced and touched and kissed the ladies and made them melt. But secretly inside he was someone else entirely. He was living a lie. Now it is out. Yes, in reality, Ricky Martin fancies the man meat. He smokes the baloney pony. He takes it in the balloon knot. A pillow biter. He is a poopie purveyor and a turd buglar. And I am laughing. Can you hear me laugh? Hohoho!

Today I will make another prediction: Ryan Seacrest is also gay and he will come out as well. It's only a matter of time. Yup. He has the same characteristics as George Michael and Ricky Martin and many other gay celebrities: So good looking you just know he stares at himself in the mirror doing Blue Steel at every opportunity. That's what I think. That is what I think you will read in the news some day in the future. Yes.

Thanks to my wife Pam for the tip

Hilarious Commentary Regarding That Super Wealthy Dude With The Lamborghini Elevator In His House

Okay I have to post this. I have a huge appreciation for clever commentary and sharp wit... especially when it comes to Internet message boards.

I posted this just a short time ago and I noticed -- over at Gizmodo where I originally found the piece -- several awesome comments made by various and sundry individuals*. I just had to post some of them. Read these golden nuggets, would you?

Ah, perfect for those Sunday morning drives through the kitchen.

Clearly a very expensive rig, yet look at those uncomfortable dining chairs.

Wouldn't you think that he would buy a nicer house? that place looks so small and extremely bad taste

Step 1: Place car into room.
Step 2: Completely empty room and paint everything white, making for maximum attention on said car.
Step 3: Sit in Chair for hours upon hours staring at said car. Invite people over to stare. In progress.


Knowing how I tend to show off when drunk, I would either:
a) Park on the lift wrong and damage the car while lifting
b) Park another car underneath it, and damage it while lowering
c) Both a and b
d) Drive around the living room, "just a little bit"
e) leave door open and fall into garage

I think it needs to be hooked up to a jukebox or something that way I can choose which car comes up. Or just hit shuffle and see what random car I will be driving that day. you know what screw it! just have a button that a random car pops up and if you don't like it it falls into a hole and gets incinerated. Kind of like mr. burns bed dispenser.

If I had as much money as him though, I would have a large glass (fake, or made of sugar) window in my living room that I would crash my car through every morning. A perfect way to start each day: action-packed theatrics. (Optional: have some workers act like they're shooting at me by firing blanks from machine guns, and a flame thrower set-up to simulate a fiery explosion just as I reach the outside.)

What about a smaller version for scooters?


* I know that didn't really make sense but I like how it sounds

Super Wealthy Dude Has Lamborghini Elevator In His Living Room, Basically Telling Everyone "I Am So Filthy Rich I Can Wipe My Ass With $100 Bills"

Yes that is pretty much what he is saying now, isn't it? Look!

Reportedly, the owner of this amazing house told his architect:
“I want a 9 car garage and be able to enjoy viewing one of them in the living room.” 

Oh, is that all?

Son of a bitch....................................................  Doesn't he know that some people appreciate the simple things in life! Take me for instance. I just want a PlayStation 3 and a copy of that new Yakuza game. And after that I'd like an $8,000 Pioneer digital turntable setup and a $20,000 P.A. system with lasers! And then two, maybe three full-time strippers who do nothing but strip for me and tell me I am good looking and really smart... Freaking Lamborghinis in a house............................ Some people are so god damn greedy!!

Check out more pics over at Gizmodo.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Comic Book Legend Dick Giordano Is Gone (1932-2010)

Some sad news here... one of my favorite comic book artists passed away on Saturday. Dick Giordano is dead at the age of 77.

Giordano completely and utterly helped shape my taste in comics back in the day -- and as a result, he also shaped my style as an artist. In fact I will swear to you right now there were dozens and dozens of times when I would buy a comic book based solely on Dick Giordano cover art. For me, the best was when Giordano's inks were over top of Ross Andru's pencils. I almost always preferred Marvel over DC but like I said, whenever I would see that signature Andru/Giordano combination on the cover, I would be sold. I remember buying an issue of Wonder Woman, literally for this reason. Then I would be sad to see that on the inside, there would be an entirely different artist doing the issue. 

In tribute to this amazing artist, I have posted examples of some of my absolute all-time favorite DC comic covers, works of the legendary Dick Giordano. Enjoy.





Gone but not forgotten. R.I.P., Mr. Giordano.

Spring Is In The Air


And that means the start of my busy season! Parties will be ramping up once again and I am very much looking forward to spinning!

If you're thinking about having a get together, let me know. I'm affordable and I guarantee you'll have a freaking fantastic time!

Head over to my DJ blog for updates and more info...

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Cave Story is Out

One of the most anticipated WiiWare games was released a couple of days ago... Cave Story! And guess what? One of my friends -- Tyrone Rodriquez -- is the publisher! His company is called Nicalis. I am extremely proud of him... this is a huge deal! Cave Story is absolutely awesome and it has been getting rave reviews. If you have a Wii and you want an old school style game with killer gameplay, you owe it to yourself to play this game.

Don't believe me? Here's a quote from NintendoLife:

"Cave Story is one of the most playable and addictive titles to hit WiiWare to date."

God damn I am so proud of Tyrone.

Click here to check out reviews of the game!

Visit the Nicalis blog page here for more info!

If you're reading this, CONGRATULATIONS ON CAVE STORY, TYRONE!


Bizarre Parody of Shenmue

One part funny, two parts kinda sad. Although I think the kid makes more money than I do with his online video game parodies.

Keep in mind that unless you have seen or played Shenmue for the Sega Dreamcast, you will only stare at this clip in dumbfoundedness.


Friday, March 26, 2010

Friday Night Freaking Lololo Guy Bonanza!!


The Short and Sweet Version is
the Best Way to Introduce
Your Friends to the Magic of Trololo Guy




Tololo Cat




Live and In Concert — in a Freaking Church!




Live in Glorious Black and White




Some Other Weird Song by Trololo Guy
(Except it is Not Very Good)


Superhero Battle Bracket

Heh. This kills me. So many errors you just don't know where to begin. It's obvious that the people who made this superhero/supervillian battle bracket don't fully understand the rationality behind epic superhero battles. Fortunately, you and I do.




Hey if you're like me and would rather debate these battles than some stupid who-gives-a-f#*k NCAA crap, you can check the superhero battle bracket out here.

Leave comments! I must hear what you have to say on this!

Party Boy on the PSP

I didn't realize it but they made a video game out of Jackass. Here's a screen shot from the Sony PSP version, featuring noneother than my favorite Jackasser, Party Boy.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Internet High-Five


Yo, up top!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Hasselhoff Drunk


He is.

Just sayin'.

My Yu Suzuki Interview Part 3


Here is the conclusion of my 2000 Game Developers Conference interview with Yu Suzuki...

PART 3

THE FUTURE
GameWEEK: Are you trying to focus at all on networking? Broadband?
Yu Suzuki: I am not focused on bandwidth but I am interested in networking. Rather than width, I am concentrating on latency. With the right compression techniques you do not need large bandwidth. We can still do more with narrowband.

GW: Do you see any latency breakthroughs in the near future?
YS: (starts doodling a sketch of the Earth) Light is the fastest speed known. But even light can only go around the world 7.5 times in one second. We are limited. If you find something that is faster, please let me know! (laughs) Really though, to play Virtua Fighter against someone on the other side of the planet is not possible.

More notes by Suzuki-san. Note the "Earth" doodle
and the number "7.5"


GW: What inspires you?
YS: I watch many movies -- lately, around 30 each month. My all-time favorite is Cassablanca. "Bogey" is the best! I like The Matrix too, although doing that as a game would be very difficult... almost impossible. One other movie I enjoy is Die-Hard. That would be an exciting game, don't you think? I do not usually watch movies for enjoyment but I do study them to aid in my research.

Yu Suzuki is a big fan of the movie Die-Hard
and thinks it would translate into a great video game.
Sega did eventually publish Die-Hard Arcade
but that game had little to do with the actual movie

GW: What do you think of PlayStation 2? X-Box?
YS: (pauses) PlayStation 2 is good at games like Ridge Racer V and Kessen. Lots of motion capability. A game like Shenmue however, would be almost impossible to do on it since it needs to rely heavily on texture memory. X-Box? It sounds very impressive.

GW: Do you like the hard-drive on X-Box?
YS: The hard-drive does not really interest me. You do not need that as much as you need the rendering power.

GW: What can you tell us about Hikaru, Sega's new arcade board? How much more powerful is it than Naomi -- one and a half times, perhaps?
YS: Hikaru is a lot more powerful than that; a lot more powerful than Naomi. (looks at Sega publicist) I would like to tell you but I cannot say more than that right now.

GW: How many total chapters do you think we'll see in the Shenmue series?
YS: Chapters are different from game releases. Shenmue 2 will probably cover chapter two through six.

A scene from Shenmue 2. The game was published
as a Dreamcast title in Europe and as an X-Box game
here in North America

GW: How many releases total, though, do you think?
YS: I do not know yet.

GW: Can you tell us anything about Shenmue 2?
YS: As you probably know, it takes place in Hong Kong. Currently, we are doing tests on what can be done. Shenmue -- the first game -- is a child. By that, I mean it is the first game of its kind that we have done, so it will mature over time. Things you will see in Shenmue 2 will be very much improved -- graphics, gameplay... everything. I am saying 50 characters on screen at one time! There will also be much more action and a faster pace. We are working on new ways to get more out of Dreamcast, which I cannot reveal at this time. Shenmue 2 will demonstrate this, though. By Shenmue 3, I will turn the first game into a dinosaur!

As the interview ended and we gathered our things, Yu Suzuki's translator pulled me to the side and said, "He really likes you. He likes the questions you ask and he says you know so much about Sega. He wants to know if you would like to talk more outside." Naturally I accepted the offer. Once outside the convention center Suzuki-san offered me a cigarette and a chance to ask more questions. "He is happy to answer more of your questions," the translator said.

Smoking our cigarettes, Yu Suzuki and I continued our conversation with the translator present. We talked about everything from movies and games to sports cars and women; all the stuff two guys talk about when they're hanging out. Much to my surprise, he asked me for my honest opinion regarding Dreamcast and its position in the North American market. I voiced my concerns. Suzuki-san also said he wanted to tell me a secret -- on the condition I would not divulge it in print. I gave my word.

It is now 2010 so I feel I can safely speak of the secret. Suzuki-san explained that Dreamcast was underperforming and looked to be in trouble. He also told me that Sega was working on games for the X-Box... and that Shenmue 2 and even Shenmue 3 would likely be X-Box exclusives! I could not believe he was telling me this.

As we shook hands to part ways, Suzuki-san extended an invitation for me to stay at his residence should I visit Japan in the future. I had actually bonded with one of my idols. It was surreal.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Arnold Rave

My Yu Suzuki Interview Part 2


It was March of 2000. As my great friend and editor Ben Rinaldi and I sat across the table from Yu Suzuki during the Game Developer's Conference in San Jose, we couldn't help but become enamored. Here was a man who literally helped change the course of video game development with titles like Hang-On, Space Harrier, Virtua Fighter -- and now, Shenmue! Through his translator and publicist, Tomoaki Inoue, Suzuki-san very pleasantly answered questions and offered his perspective on gaming in general...

PART 2

COMING TO AMERICA
GameWEEK: You are directly overseeing the localization of Shenmue, is that correct?
Yu Suzuki: Yes, that is correct.

GW: Are there American voice actors involved?
YS: Yes. There are subtitles, but there are also English voice-overs for all of the 350 characters. We auditioned and came up with 200 voice actors for these roles.

A cut scene in Shenmue


Shenmue: A world so rich and detailed,
even the soda machines are operational

GW: What about all of the signs and nameplates? Will they be changed to read in English?
YS: In the American version, when you view a nameplate, it zooms in close and reads in Japanese, but there is also a subtitle below in English. The street maps are in Japanese and English.

Notes written by Yu Suzuki during the interview


GETTING DOWN TO BUSINESS
GW: What is it like to work for the console market, versus the arcade market?
YS: For Shenmue -- for console -- the main difference was the size of the team. There are other differences though. To do arcade titles we have to look at a lot of things like motion control and cabinet design, for example.

GW: Arcade or console... do you have a preference?
YS: Designing for both console and arcade is a lot of fun. When I made F355 Challenge for the arcade, I was able to go to the circuit to gather data. I went to Maranello to meet with the Ferrari people. Not only that, but there was a great restaurant across the street from Ferrari headquarters! (laughs)

GW: When might we see F355 Challenge on Dreamcast?
YS: (Sega publicist quickly jumps in to discourage a response) I cannot say that right now.

NOTE: Not long after this interview I was able to pry the truth regarding F355 Challenge out of an industry friend... Acclaim (or Ack-lame as I used to refer to them) had contracted to publish the game. I can't recall why this was the case, maybe low sales expectations on Sega's part?

F355 Challenge was a beautiful Dreamcast game
and -- with the exception of not being rendered on
three screens -- faithful to the arcade version in many ways

GW: Outrun was a popular game in America. Might we see a sequel sometime?
YS: (glances at Sega publicist) Uh, next question? (laughs)

GW: How many projects do you oversee at any one time?
YS: No more than two at once so I can stay directly involved.

GW: Are there any differences in the work environment since CSK Corporation took AM2 under its wing?
YS: Not many. I am currently trying to come up with a new company name.

GW: What are your feelings about the decline of the arcade market?
YS: The small, dirty places in Japan will disappear soon. The big, clean locations will survive. This will actually benefit Sega. (referring to places like GameWorks in the U.S.) Sega is also planning to connect locations with fiber optic lines to offer network play. I'm not sure when that's going to happen, but... (Sega publicist jumps in again) Uh, I did read in the paper recently that our president said he has a goal in mind...

GW: Would that goal be sometime this year?
YS: Not too far away.

GW: Sega's arcade divisions -- AM2, for example -- have always been known for innovation. Suzuki-san, you've contributed so many unique gameplay concepts and many times others imitate those concepts. You do Afterburner, Namco does Ace Combat. You do Virtua Fighter, Namco does...
YS: I am glad you brought that up. After I completed the first Virtua Fighter for arcades, one of my leading members left to become a Namco employee. He also took a few programmers with him.

GW: Tekken...
YS: Yes, Tekken.

Tomorrow: Part 3, the final installment of my interview with Yu Suzuki

Chris Evans is Captain America

Yeeup, Chris Evans — the Human Torch from those ridiculous Fantastic Four movies — has landed the role of Captain America. The film is set to release next year.


What do you think? Can Evans pull it off?

Dude Does His Beatbox Thang to Trololo Guy

No doubt about it, Trololo Guy is taking the world by storm.

Trololo Guy Watches YouTube Videos And Responds!

Plus he sings at the end!

This Just In: Trololo Guy (Eduard Khil) Is Still Alive, Addresses the People of the World

Trololo Guy: A Disturbing Remix

Possibly more disturbing than the original... maybe? Damn, it's all so wacko and funny at the same time...



Thanks for the link, Emily!

Monday, March 22, 2010

The Hangover

Took me a while but I finally saw it this weekend... The Hangover. What a freaking hilarious movie, every bit as funny as everyone told me it was. I can't remember laughing that hard at a film in a long, long time.

So I see they're working on a sequel. Can't wait.

Happy International Talk Like William Shatner Day!

Today is "International Talk Like William Shatner Day!"

Enjoy the day and be sure to at least drop a line or two on someone out there.


My Yu Suzuki Interview Part 1

While working in the video game industry I was incredibly fortunate for many reasons. To be perfectly honest it was dream come true, that's really the only way for me to describe it. Not only did I work with so many amazingly talented people, I made friends with dozens of awesome individuals who loved gaming as much as I did. I was also able to meet some of my heroes inside the industry; people like Shigeru Miyamoto, Dave Perry, Yuji Naka and Yu Suzuki.

When I was employed with GameWEEK as managing editor, I sat down to interview Sega's Yu Suzuki during the Game Developer's Conference in San Jose. It was, without question, one of the shining moments of my career and I will never forget it. As part of my salute to Shenmue and its 10-year anniversary, I decided to bring you that interview, originally conducted in March of 2000. It is broken down into three parts.

Here it is, part 1 of my GameWEEK Yu Suzuki interview...

PART 1

INTRODUCTION
Throughout all of the good times and bad times over the last fifteen years, Sega has owed much of its staying power to one man. His name is Yu Suzuki.

Graduating from The Okayama University of Science, Yu Suzuki joined Sega Enterprises in 1983 with an Electronic Science major in hand. It didn't take the young programmer very long to get noticed by company officials. Two years after starting his employment, he finished his very first arcade game, Hang-On. It was an instant success. Since that time, Sega's creative front man -- who turns 42 years-old this month -- has managed to come up with hit after hit for the coin-operated amusement industry, with many titles making their way to Sega's home consoles such as Genesis, Saturn and more recently, Dreamcast.

Currently positioned as corporate VP of software R&D, Suzuki is best known as the mastermind behind Sega's Virtua Fighter series. So much so, in fact, that The Smithsonian National Museum of American History has a Virtua Fighter cabinet on display in Washington D.C.

And then there's Shenmue, Sega's "do or die" Dreamcast game. Taking five years and a reported $40 million to produce, Shenmue is the most ambitious, most expensive video game ever assembled. A sort of "RPG/Adventure/Fighting" hybrid, the game was released in Japan late last year and was praised not only for its innovative approach, but its sheer size and scope. A four GD-ROM set, Shenmue is currently undergoing localization and is scheduled to release in the U.S. this fall.

A whole hell of a lot is riding on Shenmue's release in America and no one knows that better than Sega itself. How will gamers in this country react to Shenmue's unorthodox gameplay? How tightly will players embrace a game so heavily steeped in Japanese culture? No one knows for certain but in the meantime Suzuki was kind enough to sit down with GameWEEK for lunch during the recent Game Developer's Conference in San Jose. Here's what the "King of All Arcades" had to say...

THE PURSUIT OF REALITY
GameWEEK: What kind of feedback have you been getting so far from Shenmue players in your country?
Yu Suzuki: The fourth disc in Shenmue -- the Passport disc -- lets users go online to the Shenmue homepage and allows us to receive data from those users. We are getting a lot of feedback. Only one out of 30 responses has been negative. With the Passport disc, users can go in and leave specific comments regarding what they liked or what they did not about the game through the BBS we have in place (this will likely be the case with the U.S. version of Shenmue as well -Jim). Some users are telling us they would like the control to be improved in Shenmue 2. I will see to this.

GW: Are there things that you would have liked to include in the first chapter, but did not due to time constraints?
YS: There are many. Some of these we hope to include in Shenmue 2.

Shenmue's immersive world is like no other

GW: The sounds... dogs barking; children playing; the gurgling water from the Koi pond... did it take a long time to put it all together?
YS: Yes, it consumed a lot of time and data. I worked with many sound effects people in the movie industry (grabs a pen and begins to sketch on Sega company letterhead). Let's say there's a shop here playing music. Then there's a speaker attached to a pole down on this end of the street playing a different song. So when the character walks through here, you can actually feel the sound of one song fade and the the other song get louder. Let's say there's an icy spot, a snowy spot, a dirt spot, a concrete spot and a puddle. The sound of Ryo's footsteps changes as he walks over these different surfaces.

GW: With regard to realism, how far do we have to go to experience the ultimate "living world" in a game?
YS: I did not pursue realism. I pursued reality. It's different. (pauses) If I could pose a question to you, how many interesting or fun things happened to you last week?

GW: Very few.
YS: (smiles) Yes, that is realism. Realism is boring. In a game you have to have one exciting event at least every ten minutes to make it entertaining.

A DIFFERENT APPROACH
GW: The QTEs (Quick Timer Events)... we like them a lot. What's the feedback been on them? Will you continue to feature QTEs in future chapters?
YS: There are barely any negatives on the QTEs so we will probably include more in the future. The QTEs are very easy to grasp for all players.

An example of a QTE in Shenmue

GW: There was a bit of concern here in the states that the QTEs might be a bit unexciting, similar to the gameplay introduced with Dragon's Lair. Are you familiar with the laserdisc games of the mid 80's?
YS: Yes, I am familiar with the games you are referring to. For QTEs though, the options are more complex, and you can try over and over. For the type where you only get one chance, the timing is a bit broader, a bit easier. For QTEs the game branches off the story depending on the result. As you make each attempt at a QTE, the timing shifts so that if you fail, the next try will be a bit easier. This makes it totally different than Dragon's Lair-type games.

GW: The Free Battle system... there's a lot more complexity there. How satisfied were you with this portion of the game?
YS: Hmmm... sixty, maybe seventy percent. If I tailored it to the complexity of Virtua Fighter, normal people wouldn't be able to play it. The timing in a real fighting game is very critical (begins thumping his fingers on the table)... it's all about how fast you can react. An RPG is a game where you have to use your brain. Shenmue is a totally different type of game. Having a real, true type of fighting game in Shenmue would not be good. What I am saying here is that the Free Battle system in Shenmue is totally different from that of Virtua Fighter, so you can just randomly press buttons and win in Shenmue (starts pounding his fingers on the table at a frantic pace).

Virtua Fighter 2

GW: I understand... we refer to that as "button mashing" in the U.S. Was this done so that young children would be able to play as well?
YS: Yes, but most kids are pretty good already!

GW: Do you enjoy playing games?
YS: I do enjoy Puyo Puyo very much, but I do not have much time to play. I also like playing air hockey with my daughter. The games with the hammer and the little animals in the holes is a lot of fun, too!

GW: You need a Whack-A-Mole game in Shenmue 2!
YS: I will try!

The YOU Arcade in Shenmue

GW: The slot machines in Shenmue are very realistic...
YS: Yes. The payout rate is different for the machines. If you go to the fortune-teller, she will tell you your "lucky number" for the week, say, number 16. Then you can try that machine for better results. Every week the casino manager changes the payout rate. The slots were made with high accuracy. We've done enough tests to meet the standards of Las Vegas machines. They were tested 50,000 times. Of course, we had the computer do it! (laughs) Another thing... the jukebox in the game is the same model as the very first jukebox Sega ever made.

GW: Unbelievable. That is serious dedication.
YS: Going back to your earlier question about what I wanted to include in Shenmue, there is one thing I wanted to do but I did not have the time. There's a pool table in the back of the MJQ bar. I really wanted to make the perfect 9-ball. I love billiards and I would very much like to do that in Shenmue 2.

Tomorrow: Part 2 of my interview with Yu Suzuki

Real Life Shenmue QTE #2

This one's even more elaborate than the one I posted on Friday.
Although I think it's actually edited footage from a kung-fu flick.

Hot Chicks With Douchebags

Courtesy of our friends over at Holy Taco...

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Ladies: New Lipstick Tells Everyone When You're Horny


Attention all ladies... the Candyman is on the prowl... just kidding. Seriously though, scientists have developed a new lipstick that changes color when its wearer gets horny! How awesome is that? New meaning to the phrase "read my lips!"

Now I'll finally be able to tell if my wife secretly fancies the ladies when she throws another one of those dirty sex toy parties. Hoo-yeah.

Read the whole thing here or click here to buy it.

Finally... A Real Man's Remote

It does the same thing your remote does... plus it opens your beer! 



Saturday, March 20, 2010

Get Drunk Tonight!

This is what things will look like around 2 am.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Real Life Shenmue QTE #1

Wax On, Wax Off

This will melt your brain.

Beer Barbarian

I don't know him but he is my hero.

Videos Of Hot Girls Playing Wii

Here's one:



There are eleven more! Click here!

3D TV For the Masses = FAIL

Regarding the impending onslaught of 3D television (thanks a lot, Cameron), there are many industry analysts chiming in to speak their piece. Here's one take on it, courtesy of Minyanville:

Understandably, studios and electronics manufacturers are excited over the possibility of a new gimmick to fill theater seats and keep couch potatoes paying for cable. But they fail to realize that the cost will far outweigh the charm and, maybe, 3D is only a once-in-a-while treat. You know why nobody rides a roller coaster to work? Because not only would it lose its appeal after the first week, it's completely impractical.

This guy must be able to read minds because he just said what I've been thinking for years. 3D TV all the time? Ugh.

There is one exception to my 'meh' attitude toward 3D television though, and it's spelled with four letters: p-o-r-n. I am not ashamed to admit I secretly look forward to checking out some Buttslammers 9: The Final Chapter in all its three-dimensional goodness.

Anyway, you can read the rest of the article here.

Thanks for the link, Mike!

Motivational Poster of the Month: SEDUCTION

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Ryo and Lan Di Talk About Shenmue 3

Carrying on with my Shenmue tribute here...

A lot of people want Sega to deliver Shenmue 3. Some people want it real bad. Apparently a super nerd with many hours to kill made this (admittedly funny*) video clip using sequences from Shenmue. You'll see Ryo (hero of the piece) calmly discuss the possibility of Shenmue 3 with his mortal enemy.



* You didn't laugh all that much but let me just tell you it is funny to people
like me -- people who appreciate only the finest in nerd humor