Saturday, February 28, 2009

Pinky the Cat

Classic stuff, right here.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Pure Oxygen In a Can Makes Me Want To Take a Pure Ballbat To Their Heads

What a scam this is. Just wow.

It's been going on for years, but I feel compelled to call these shysters to the carpet.

Did you know that pure oxygen can be yours for only $20 a can?

Here's another group of cons (my opinion) selling pure oxygen!

I remember back in the early 90's... there was a company doing infomercials peddling oxygen-in-a-can, and the premise was that it could be sprayed into food and beverages. The cans had little straws which attached to the nozzles, WD-40 style. Anyway, I recall being blown away by the balls-out, scam-artist vibe; here they were actually selling oxygen... in a can... and telling people to spray it into a glass of ice cream to make a "healthy, delicious shake!" I did searches for this exact product but came up with zero. If you remember what it was called, let me know.

They call it "healthy." I call it "All Aboard The WTF Train!!"

You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to start selling my own poop. Yeah, I think I can do it. It sounds crazy, but I think I can pull it off. I'll come up with some clever marketing, maybe call it "Pooptastic," or "Craptacular" or some such name. My poop could be yours, for only twenty bucks a bag. I will be a wealthy man.

Back to the oxygen thing. Since when do you need to shell out $20 to breathe? Last time I checked, breathing oxygen was still free of charge -- unless, of course, you're living on planet Druidia. Maybe the oxygen we breathe isn't 100% pure oxygen, but still. Really? Am I being too harsh here? Is this not one of the most ridiculous marketing ploys ever to be perpetrated on the public?


A Very Strange Adam West Batman Meets Jerry Lawler

Okay, let's see here. Hmm. Oh hell, let's just let do the talkin':

"When Adam West appeared on a Memphis TV station to promote a local car show in 1977, he arrived slurring his speech and wearing what can only be described as "homeless Bat-chic." Jerry "The Evil King of Memphis" Lawler then stopped by, prompting West to inexplicably lecture him on superhero sartorialism and traffic safety..."

In any event, here's the tattered video clip:

Thanks to

Disco Dancing Party Mix

A special remix of the infamous "Disco Lessons From Finland" video.

Just. For. YOU!!

R2-D2 Ghetto Blaster

How cool is this?

Thanks to

The Final 10 Worst Album Covers Ever

21 through 30 of my personal picks as "30 Worst Album Covers of All Time..."

In case you missed them:

Friday FAILS

Let's face it. Words would only get in the way.


Thursday, February 26, 2009

Resident Evil 5 Merely Days Away

Despite the absence of Resident Evil creator/mastermind Shinji Mikami (who left Capcom to start his own company after the release of RE4), Resident Evil 5 is looking tremendously good. 

According to my nephew Mike, the game demo on Xbox Live (released in December) is "very kick ass," and worth the 4-year wait. Unfortunately I wouldn't know. See, if you're like me and you have an underage "Children's" Xbox Live account, you won't be able to download the M-rated demo. I tried changing the status of the account by calling Microsoft's customer service line and -- surprise! --  they were dicks. Apparently, you cannot change the status of an underage account. Nope, not even when you are the parent/legal guardian. I was told that I had to either open a new account to allow for M-rated download content -- or wait until my kid turns 18. Yeah. Pretty asinine, huh. If you know of an alternative method, please drop me a message in the comments section below, I would be grateful.

In any case, back to RE5. If you haven't had a chance to download the demo for some reason and need a taste of actual gameplay footage, check out this excellent heads-up from the guys at

Not much I can do to top that, except offer a few screen shots:

RE5 takes place primarily in Africa

Two player split-screen mode is a first for the series

Blood in the eyes. Now that is messed up!

Resident Evil 5 will be available in Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 formats on March 13. Keep an eye on the RE5 countdown timer at the top of this page to keep track!

Limited "RE5 Edition" Xbox 360 Elite,
available in North America

Limited "Biohazard Edition" Playstation 3
bundle, available in Japan only

Thanks to!

Awesome Space Invaders Tee-Shirt Will Make People Like You

It will!

Wacked Out Of His Mind On Drugs? Joaquin Phoenix on Letterman

Really? I mean, really? Wow. What is going on with Joaquin Phoenix? And more importantly, why do I hate typing the name Joaquin Phoenix more than any other name on earth?

Not sure if this is a put on or what. I'm thinking this may be part of some strange, new-movie-coming-out promotional scheme on the part of (insert name I hate typing here). Maybe? Dave just lets it fly here... hilarious!

So is this for real? Or is it some kind of put-on? Leave a comment, I'm interested to see what you guys think...

Thanks, Julia

Louis CK On Late Night With Conan O'Brien

This is guy is dead-on. Funny stuff.

Thanks, Mike!

Little Superstar


I got nothin'.

Well, It Looks Like They Wanna Re-Make Total Recall

"Recall! Recall! Recall!"

According to sources over at AICN, movie studio execs are looking to remake yet another movie... this time, Total Recall. I must admit to having an affinity for Total Recall, and in fact I'd claim it as one of the greatest science fiction films ever made. It certainly stands as one of Schwarzenegger's finest. It's tech-savvy, it's clever, it's imaginative, it has butt loads of action, and it's thought provoking. If you love sci-fi and you don't own this movie on DVD, well then, you don't deserve to live.

So what's the point in reinventing a movie that already works? Are they going to make it better looking? Probably, although the original 1990 visuals still hold up very well, IMO. Will the story be told in a different light, perhaps more akin to the original story, We Can Remember It For You Wholesale, by Philip K. Dick? Who knows. All I know is, they didn't make a better Willie Wonka. They didn't make a better Planet of the Apes. And they sure as hell didn't make a better Superman.

If they pull the trigger, I just hope it does justice to the original, 'cause that is one bad-ass film.

Thanks to!

Techno Viking

Pied piper of pandemonium.

Defender of the ladies.

And the greatest viking to ever live.

These are but a few of the many delightful descriptions given to one man. A man who walks the streets collecting the adoration of the masses.

This video clip is practically ten years old, yet I know a lot of people who have never even heard of it before. So. If you are one of the less fortunate ones to have never paid witness to this man's hypnotic odyssey, I now bestow upon you...

Techno Viking.

10 More Of The Worst Album Covers Ever

As promised, 11 through 20. Just god-awful.

Click here for 21 through 30!