Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Remember, Today Is Cinco De Mayo - But Tomorrow Is National Dick In The Clouds Day

Yes, today is all about drinking Corona but tomorrow is also quite an important day. It is May 6th, National Dick In The Clouds Day.

You may be asking, "WTF is National Dick In The Clouds Day?" It is understandable that you ask this. You deserve an explanation so let me give you the backstory.

I work at a social expressions company. We create and distribute millions of greeting cards every year. About a year ago I saw one of our cards at retail, a birthday card that spoofed the whole Viagra/male enhancement thing. On the front of the card is the image you see below:
As you can see, the illustration depicts a male and female frolicking along the beach at sunset, happy that their "experience" is "longer and more satisfying." It's cheesy and it's supposed to be.

On the back of the card is this:
Here again we see the beach at sunset and a cloud. But that's an odd-looking cloud, wouldn't you say? It... it almost looks to be in the shape of a penis. A penis!

Here it is, magnified and turned upside-down:
It even has a little hole at the end. And a ball sack. I'd say it looks a lot like a dick in the clouds!

In any event, one of the guys in the department -- we'll call him "Mark" -- tracked down the artist who rendered this particular card -- a friend of ours, we'll call him "Al" -- to ask him whether or not this "dick in the clouds" was done as an accident or as a sneaky thing, kind of like when an artist hides something in a painting (think back to years ago when one of the artists at Disney snuck in a frame of a topless Ariel in The Little Mermaid.) So Al was confronted. "Hey, Al, did you put this dick in the clouds on purpose, dude?" was the question. "No, man, that was not like that when I sent the art file to digital," was his reply.

We were not satisfied with Al's answer. It was too much of a coincidence, we thought. There was no way in hell a dick in the clouds ended up on a "Viagra" card by accident. He had to be lying to us about it. So my inquisitive friend Mark contacted the digital department. The girl who managed all of the art files confirmed that the file -- complete with the dick in the clouds -- was indeed submitted "as is" by Al and that it had not been altered by anyone else. Al denied this to the day he quit his job.

It took a lot of guts for Al to draw a dick in the clouds on a greeting card. So I decided to name a day in honor of this event. May 6th,
National Dick In The Clouds Day.

About a week after Al left the company, a bunch of us went out for lunch. As I was telling this story I looked up at the sky and I swear to you I saw a dick in the clouds. It was almost a religious experience. I concluded my story with, "You can always find a dick in the clouds if you just take the time to look."

Tomorrow, please remember to look up at the clouds. Do it for Al.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for getting the legend of the Dick in the Clouds in writing! I'll be looking to the sky tomorrow.