Thursday, June 25, 2009

Michael Jackson Checks Out For Good (1958-2009)

The giant ferris wheels, the roller coasters, the hyperbaric chamber, The Elephant Man's bones, the fake marriage to Elvis's daughter, the plastic surgeries, the lawsuits, the irresponsible spending, the baby dangling, the surgical masks, the monkeys, the moonwalk, the hoo-hoo, the Jesus Juice, the little boy slumber parties... it's all over.

Michael Jackson is dead.

As I was pulling out of work today (5:15 eastern) I heard them announce on the radio that Jackson was reportedly taken to a hospital for cardiac arrest, via a source at TMZ. Within an hour and a half, it was confirmed he had died.

I'm not sure what to say. On one hand, it's sad to hear when anyone dies. On the other hand, I'm not really all that choked up about it. Probably due to the fact that I just don't know whether he was diddling little kids or what. I mean, the man never seemed to be on the up-and-up when it came to the rationale behind why he spent so much time with little boys. It always seemed suspicious.

I'm old enough to remember what I was doing the day Elvis died. It was a pretty huge deal. This is too. You don't get bigger than Michael Jackson. Whether you want to believe the guy was a pedophile or not (and how can we know with 100% certainty), there's no disputing his legendary talent and the mark he made on pop culture.

Rest assured the days that follow will consist of non-stop media coverage the likes of which have rarely been seen. The space shuttle, the Reagan assassination attempt, 9/11, and the death of Michael Jackson... there are few things this big. Did he O.D.? Was it suicide? Or did he just drop because he weighed something like 120 lbs? Conspiracy nuts are already drooling at the possibility he may have faked his own death to escape his torment. We may never know for sure.

One thing I am sure of is that we will be hearing all sorts of dark, seedy details about his bizarre lifestyle in the days and months ahead.



13 comments:

  1. Bada-Bing! There's three (count 'em folks!) celebs gone. I swear, it's always in threes!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Q: You know how you can tell when Michael Jackson is having a party?

    A: By the row of Big Wheels parked out front.

    ReplyDelete
  3. ROTFLMAO Big Wheels, never heard that one!

    Yeah, threes... this is true. McMahon, Fawcett and now MJ.

    Here's one:
    * What does K-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common?
    * They both have boys pants half off!

    ReplyDelete
  4. You say you wanna be startin' somethin' you got to be startin' somethin' you say you wanna be startin' somethin' you got to be startin' - UUUGGH [insert sound of death and melting plastic here]

    ReplyDelete
  5. I HOPE HE GETS PLUGGED IN THE ASS BY STAAN ONCE EVERY DAY AND TWICE AT NIGHT FOR ALL ETERNITY

    ReplyDelete
  6. Paster,

    I think you mean "Satan" ?

    Heh.

    I'm sure you're not the only person to envision this, btw.

    ReplyDelete
  7. YOU ALL ARE SOME SICK BITCHES!!!!!I HATE TO LOWER MYSELF TO THIS,BUT I HOPE ONE DAY SOMEONE SAYS THESE NASTY THINGS ABOUT YOUR DEAD LOVED ONE!!!!!THEN YOU WILL SEE HOW IT FEELS!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. ^ yes! You're all dicks. It was bad enough to say stuff like this while he was alive but NOW, a million times worse:( Have some respect.

    And for the record, do some research and it'll put things into perspective. Listen to songs like "Childhood" and view home videos, interviews, etc. He was deprived of a normal childhood. That's why he acted like a kid and played with little kids. They're innocent and way easier to be around, as opposed to adults.

    ReplyDelete
  9. MICHAEL JACKSON = THE HOTTEST, SEXIEST, CUTEST, PUREST, KINDEST, MOST BEAUTIFUL, MOST ADORABLE PERSON THAT EVER LIVED. There will be no other. I don't care what ANYBODY says.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Everyone who says anything bad about MJ is just jealous. There is not anyone on earth more talented or more gorgeous. I am a girl, and i wish I could look like that

    ReplyDelete
  11. MJ was a good man, n for the rest of the people who keep talkin shit about him, go fuck ur self loosers.

    ReplyDelete
  12. You are so interesting! I do not believe I've truly read something like that before. So great to find someone with unique thoughts on this subject. Seriously.. thanks for starting this up. This site is something that is required on the internet, someone with a little originality!

    Review my blog post - schweden schwimmbrille

    ReplyDelete
  13. I enjoy looking through a post that can make men and women think.
    Also, thank you for allowing for me to comment!

    Here is my page - g√ľnstige mp3 player test (http://www.reef-madness.com/)

    ReplyDelete