Tuesday, June 23, 2009

A Very Special Tribute To Techno Viking

The Legend
According to Urban Dictionary, the legend of Techno Viking is as follows:

The Techno Viking is a tall, muscular, charismatic, intimidating, German man that danced for the camera in F#@%parade 2000 (a techno street-parade in Berlin Germany). It is said that he has appeared in other years to follow as well. The F#@%parade developed in reaction to the music restriction (exclusion of Gabber music) and commercialization of Love Parade. Additionally, it broached the issue of the techno club "Bunker" being closed. The most played styles of music in the F#@%parade are Gabber, Speedcore, Techno, Punk, and House. 

The Techno Viking was made famous because of the "Kneecam" recording of a blue-haired girl dancing, then being crashed into by some unruly guy, causing the Techno Viking to snatch the guy up by his arms and shove him back where he came running from. The Techno Viking then pointed at the man and gazed with an extremely fierce glare in his eyes. An aura of fear eminated from the Techno Viking, causing the man to step down from the confrontation. The Techno Viking then started dancing wildly through the streets after being given a water bottle from one of his fans. 

The Video
Check out the one, the only, the original "Techno Viking" video footage from 2000 and see for yourself!



The True Measure Of A Man
Some say Techno Viking is becoming as popular on the Internet as Chuck Norris, since he has shown to be very dangerous if provoked. Here are some great quotes describing the awesome might of Techno Viking:

Techno Viking doesn't dance to the music, the music dances to Techno Viking

The only man that can actually kill Chuck Norris is Techno Viking

Techno Viking requires water to be served to him upside down, and is delivered notes on a weekly basis

A 100 decibel hi-fi sound system runs at 1/10th the volume of Techno Viking's heart beat

Tee-Shirts
There are literally dozens of different Techno Viking tee shirt designs for sale out there. Visit Cafe Press to check some of them out.

My Salute
Techno Viking, O god of chiseled pectoral muscles, I raise my glass of 100 proof pure grain alcohol. To You!

And that, my friends, concludes this very special tribute...

to Techno Viking.

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