Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Fun, Crazy, Unique Alarm Clocks

Shocking Alarm Clock
Do you have trouble waking up? Of course you do. Hell, except for Richard Simmons, who doesn't? This alarm clock shocks you when you touch the snooze button. Beauty in simplicity.

The Bomb
Three minutes before your alarm is set to go off, a voice starts a count down. At that point you have three minutes to disconnect a wire corresponding to the blinking light. If you don’t make it, get ready for a bang loud enough to wake up everyone in the house. The secret code is randomly reset every morning.

What man wouldn't love a nobby every morning? That would wake me up FO SHO!! Oh wait, shit, this isn't the nobby I was thinking of. Okay, well, give it enough time I'm sure someone will invent it. In the meantime we have this. Nobby is an alien that you can have a conversation with. Ask Nobby the time and he'll tell you, but if you don't get up when he yells “Rise and shine, it's time to get up!” he gets pissed and orders you to “Take your fingers out of your ears!” The only satisfaction this alarm clock gives you is that you get to literally wring its neck to get it to shut up. Alarm clock and stress reliever! Again, the nobby I was hoping for would be a better stress reliever.

Sfera Alarm Clock
Stupid name, yes, but the Sfera forces you to get your ass up and out of bed! It mounts to the ceiling and when it goes off you must reach up and touch it to turn it off. It then retracts toward the ceiling and goes off again, making you reach even higher. The cycle repeats until you stand up. Me, I'd probably end up hitting it like a pinata.

The Anemone Alarm Clock

This clock also has a very weird name but when the alarm goes off it starts rumbling and bouncing, eventually rolling off your nightstand. The vibration not only makes it difficult to find, but also difficult turn-off.

Pole Dancer
With its sleazy strip club vibe, the Pole Dancer clock is guaranteed to "get you up" in the morning (wow, glad to see they're paying those marketing geniuses well). Includes light and music.

Snuz N Luz
Some pretty clever shit right here. If you snooze, you lose. Literally. Program this WiFi enabled clock to donate money from your online bank account every time you hit the snooze button. The clock even taunts you with details of the donation and the charity, as well as the total amount of your past donations. Sorry but this clock sucks balls.

Flying Alarm Clock
When it goes off, this clock starts blaring an alarm that sounds like a submarine S.O.S. If that doesn't work, after a few seconds a propeller starts whirling around and eventually shoots into the air. But here's the really fun part: the only way you can shut off the annoying alarm is to retrieve the propeller and put it back on the clock!

If you hit "snooze" and delay getting out of bed, Clocky will roll off your nightstand and all over the bedroom, forcing you to corner it to shut it off. Supposedly it can survive a fall of three feet.

Sleep Squad
God almighty, when it comes to annoying the F%$# out you, I think we have a winner. When it's time to get up, you are awakened by this message: “This is the police, you have until the count of three to get out of bed or we are coming in, 1… 2… 3!” A police siren then goes off and the light flashes, making life in bed a living hell.

Glo Pillow

An alarm clock for pussies, Glo Pillow was designed to serve as an alternative to the regular alarm clock. The pillow uses LED technology to wake the user with the light as well as to display the time on the pillow which begins to glow 40 minutes before the pre-set time. The idea is that the user will wake up gradually and not as suddenly or violently as with an alarm clock.

Wake N' Bacon

Invented by some crafty students, Wake n' Bacon is a freakin' miracle. A frozen strip of bacon is placed in the device the night before. Two halogen lamps slow-cook the bacon ten minutes prior to wake up time. Hot damn!

Drag Racer
The alarm starts with an dragster engine revving and tires screeching. Staging lights go off in sequence until 8000 horsepower screams into action.

Puzzle Clock
This one sounds at the designated time, but it also shoots three puzzle pieces into the air. And you guessed it -- in order to make the damn thing stop, you have to hunt down the pieces and solve the puzzle.

Carpet Clock

This alarm clock requires you to get out of bed and stand on it to turn it off. Carpet Clock as an LCD screen to display the time, too.

Gun Alarm
Now we're talkin'! Hit that snooze button right between the eyes with the Gun-Operated Alarm Clock sure to knock ‘em dead every time! This clock uses an old gaming light gun that has been retrofitted with a few tilt switches. So in addition to squeezing off a few rounds for some extra shut-eye in the morning the gun can also be angled and tilted to control other functions of the clock like setting the time and alarm.

Sonic Bomb

Say hello to the Mac Daddy of alarm clocks: Sonic Bomb! Features an adjustable volume alarm with a maximum loudness of 113 decibels (a jackhammer is about 100 decibels). It also has a "bed shaker" option. Not pleasant. Nope. Not pleasant at all.

NOTE FROM MR. FUN: if you're looking to purchase any of these clocks (except Wake N Bacon), try doing a Google search (there were too many sources to keep track)...


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