Thursday, April 30, 2009

Pontiac Was Doomed #2: Fit And Finish Courtesy Of Gomer Pyle

A little more than a year ago, while my Type-S was being repaired, I was given a 2007 Pontiac G6 as a rental. It looked exactly like the one pictured above except with a black paint job. A little bland, but not a bad looking car!

The odometer read a mere 500 miles on it -- I had me a shiny new car for one whole week! I thought to myself, "Cool, I haven't driven a Pontiac in a long time, I bet this new G6 is pretty sweet!"

So the first night I rented it, I pulled it into my garage and did a walk around to check it out. I checked out the features, kicked the tires, etc. I also noticed fluctuations along the seams where the body panels weren't quite even (referred to as "fit and finish"). To me, the fit and finish looked like someone at the plant forgot to finish staying awake when they were assembling the damn thing.

It gets better.

I went to check under the hood. I wanted to see the V6. I popped the hood and -- surprise, surprise! -- the hood was plastic! PLASTIC!!

And then, one morning -- almost as if the Import Gods were trying to steer me away from ever touching this domestic dungheap again -- I open the rear driver's side door to put my four year-old in to take him to daycare, and the door handle falls off. THE DOOR HANDLE FALLS OFF!! OMFG I'M NOT LYING BITCH!!

No, it doesn't stop there. During my final day of rental, I was heading home from work. At one point, for no apparent reason, the plate around the shift knob just came loose. It just popped loose as I was driving and flailed around like a flattened plastic turd as I made my way down the merry highway.

Again, this car had less than a thousand miles on the odometer.

So goes my experience with the Pontiac G6. I've heard several horror stories of lazy factory workers fucking-up cars at The Big Three auto plants, but good god on a toasted wheat bun -- what the hell was GM thinking? Who were they paying to assemble its cars -- a bunch of drunken sailors?!

Maybe this dude helped build my rental car

I could not wait to get my Type-S back.

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