Our so-called "global economy" is tanking. Nearly every developed nation is in financial turmoil (the undeveloped ones suck as usual and they're always in the crapper so who really cares about them, right?).
As American citizens we are now at a point where, to pay off the national debt, each man, woman and child would have to fork over $35,000. Like that's gonna happen.
Now mind you, I am no economics guru -- merely a connoisseur of fun -- but I think I have a couple of potential solutions. They are proposals for anyone reading this who might be in a position to make a dent in this whole mess.
It's simple, really. I have two plans. And when you read them, you're going to say to yourself, "Really? It's that easy?" In fact, Obama himself -- if he were to read my plans -- would say to himself, "Holy shit, now why din' I think of that?!"
The first one I like to call "Plan A." When you were a kid and you were losing at a video game, what did you do? Of course... you hit the reset button!
And that's how we fix it; we just sweep it under the carpet and pretend it never happened. It's like a "do-over." That's what you do when people keep screwing up in a game of stick hockey, right? You call do-over. When you change the oil in your car, what do you do afterward? You push the little reset button to turn off the engine light because you're sick of looking at it.
So every country agrees to hit their reset button and we all start over at zero. Hell, we had to start at zero at some point way back in history, right? So we just start over from scratch; that's all we're doing.
Either we go with that plan, or we go with something different. I call this different plan "Plan B" -- a.k.a. the "Star Trek Plan."
This plan eliminates all money from the face of the earth. With the Star Trek Plan, there is no currency at all, anywhere. Star Trek didn't have currency. That worked out. So if you need something, you make it. You just make your own stuff. If you need a blanket, you get a sheep and some knitting needles. If you want some butter, you make it. The friggin' Amish do it.
Now you are probably saying to yourself, "This Plan B/Star Trek Plan is the greatest thing ever!! I won't have to go to work anymore, I can just lay around all day!!" Not so fast. Those who wish to be productive citizens will assist society in some way; you could help the elderly or maybe build someone a house. In return for your labor, you will not be be paid in cash (remember, cash does not exist), you will be paid in food items or clothing. Maybe if you're really busting your ass, you get an iPod, who knows. Those who do not work... those who choose to be lazy... will die.
I now return you to fun.